Uncanny Titans East
by The Uncanny R-Man
Summary: Chapter 22: Titans East team up with Batman, Wonder Woman, and the JSA to take on Ra's al Ghul. Part of the Uncanny DC Universe.
1. Dolphin

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 1: Dolphin**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Author's Notes- **_After all the controversy of the last chapter of 'Uncanny X-Men', I decided to kick back and start a new UDC-Verse fic. This time it's starring… Titans East! Who can possibly get offended by that? Especially with two canon pairings in the story. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Steel City Beach- **

Steel City. Home of Titans East. Steel City beach. Present playing area of Titans East

The quintet of young heroes (Speedy, Aqualad, Bumblebee and Mas y Menos) were playing catch with their guests, Donna Troy and Cheetah. **(1)** The pair was still hanging out with the Titans after Donna had completed her photo shoot. **(2)**

'I'm open, Roy! I'm open!' Aqualad yelled as he jumped up and down waving his arms about.

Speedy back-pedalled as he tried to line up a shot past his opponent. Donna had chosen to shadow Speedy for the game. Everybody knew why the young Amazon wanted to shadow the young archer. Donna had the hots for Speedy. To tell you the truth, Speedy kind of felt the same way about Donna. It was obvious that beauty was hereditary as Donna was one of the most beautiful young women Speedy had ever known. And Speedy had known a hell of a lot of beautiful women.

'Throw it, ya doofus!' Aqualad demanded impatiently, starting to become more agitated by the minute. 'Give me the ball, Barnacle Head!'

Mas y Menos joined in the chanting as they jumped up and down, trying to get Speedy's attention.

'Yeah, do us all a favour, Speedy.' Bumblebee groused. 'Stop leching on Donna and throw the darn ball!'

Speedy finally let the ball fly through the air, making everybody dash for the ball. Donna and Bumblebee took to the air as they tried to grab it, only for the ball to fall into Aqualad's waiting hands.

'Oh yeah!' Aqualad crowed triumphantly. 'Who's the kingfish, baby?'

'Run, Garth!' Speedy yelled as the girls charged towards the cheering Atlantean. '_Run!_'

'Tentacles!' Aqualad hissed as he sped away from the charging women. 'You're not gonna get me, ladies!'

'Sez you, Fish-Lips!' Cheetah responded as she took to all fours and sprinted towards her opponent like her namesake.

Aqualad had almost made it to the touchdown mark when he tripped up on something lying half concealed by sand and seaweed.

'Tartar sauce!' Aqualad yelled, punching the sand in anger. 'That wasn't fair! I demand a recount!'

'It's not our fault that you choked, Aqua_boy_.' Donna snickered as she bent down and picked up the ball.

'How many do I have to tell you?' Aqualad groused. 'It's Aqua_lad! _Not Aqua_boy!_'

'Not from where I'm standing.' Bumblebee snickered.

'Uhh, guys?' Speedy piped up. 'I think you'd better take a look at this…'

Everybody turned to where Speedy was knelt, overlooking a suspiciously humanoid-looking shape concealed with seaweed and miscellaneous oceanic junk.

'Is that… a person?' Donna blinked.

'Don't touch it!' Aqualad warned. 'It could be a zombie!'

'Don't be an idiot.' Bumblebee snorted. 'This isn't a zombie… Is it?'

Speedy quickly pulled off some of the seaweed to reveal a silver-haired young woman, roughly the same age as the gathered Titans.

'_Hellooo_ salty goodness!' Aqualad grinned as he pushed Speedy out of the way. 'We've hit pay dirt! Hot naked chick lying unconscious on the beach! Aww yeah!'

'You're such a perv, Garth.' Bumblebee groaned.

'I think we'd better get her back to the Tower.' Cheetah suggested as she gently picked the unconscious girl up. 'There's no telling what could have happened to her.'

'I've got first dibs though!' Aqualad grinned. 'I wanna be the first one to greet her when she wakes up.'

Mas y Menos had something to say about that as they babbled rapidly in Spanish.

'I think they want first dibs too.' Donna translated. 'Cute little perverts, aren't they?'

'Nobody'll be able to hit on her if we don't get back to the Tower.' Speedy sighed.

'You're just jealous cuz you're already spoken for.' Aqualad groused.

'Bite me, Aqua_boy.' _Speedy retorted.

'Aqua_lad!_' The young Atlantean groaned. 'For halibut's sake, can't anybody remember my name? It's Aqua_lad!'_

* * *

**The Tower's med bay: Later-**

Just as he said, Aqualad was the first beside the bed as the mysterious silver-haired girl began to wake up.

'_Ooooh. What happened to me?_' The girl mumbled in a language that the other Titans didn't understand. '_W-where am I?_'

'What in Hera's name is she talking about?' Donna blinked, scratching her head. 'I can't understand a word she's saying.'

'It's… Atlantean.' Aqualad blinked. 'She must have got lost somehow.'

'How do you know what language she's talking?' Speedy asked.

'Because I'm Atlantean too, remember?' Aqualad rolled his eyes. 'Really, you've got a memory worse than a goldfish.'

Aqualad turned back to the silver-haired girl.

'_Don't be afraid._' Aqualad reassured the girl calmly in his native language. '_We found you washed_ _up on the beach near here. Do you know what happened to you?_'

The mysterious girl rubbed her head.

'_I-I can't remember…_' She groaned. '_I remember swimming near the outskirts of_ _Poseidonis and then… nothing._ _My memory is blank.'_

'_That's a mystery all right._' Aqualad nodded thoughtfully. '_Oh well, we'll work it out_ _soon enough._ _I'm Garth by the way._' Aqualad added as he held out his hand to the young woman.

'_I'm_ _Dolphin._' The silver-haired girl smiled sweetly. _'Garth… You're King Orin's _**(3) **_adopted son, aren't you?'_

'_Guilty as charged.'_ Aqualad smiled charmingly in return.

'_Aww, shark spit!' _Dolphin hissed as she sat up straight._'Here I am talking to royalty, and I look like I've been in a fight with an electric eel.'_

'_You don't look so bad.' _Aqualad shrugged. _'You look pretty darn hot to me.'_

'_R-really?' _Dolphin blinked. '_You think I'm… hot? Do I have a temperature or something?'_

'_Of course not.' _Aqualad laughed. '_I was just using a little Surface slang. I think you look pretty enough as you are.'_

'_Oh, stop it.' _Dolphin giggled shyly. '_I'm in no fit state to talk to royalty such as you.'_

'_To tell you the truth. I was never one for all that royalty junk.' _Aqualad admitted with a shrug. _'I guess it was just forced on me. It's not like I'm gonna end up as King of Atlantis or anything, that falls to Orin's son. When he grows up, that is.'_

'_You're a strange one, Garth.' _Dolphin smiled. _'I thought that you would be more like Orin.'_

'_What? An arrogant jerk?' _Aqualad chuckled.

'_Pretty much.' _Dolphin nodded. _'I never knew royalty could be so down to earth.'_

'_I work for the common Atlantean, babe.' _Aqualad grinned. _'None of that pomp and pageantry for me.'_

'_Do you think your friends will welcome me here?' _Dolphin whispered, slightly worriedly.

'If they can welcome somebody like me, I'm sure that they'll accept you like a shark to a feeding frenzy.'

Dolphin just blushed once more.

'Garth, stop it! You're making me blush.'

'_You look cute when you blush.' _Aqualad smiled.

'_You're not all that bad yourself, Garth.' _Dolphin smiled in return.

'_Hey, what do you say I show you around one you get better?' _Aqualad suggested. _'Steel City's got one of the best aquariums on the Easy Coast!'_

'_Yes. That would be fun.' _Dolphin smiled. '_I'd love to go to there with you.'_

'_It's a date.' _Aqualad grinned. _'Now, make sure you get some rest. You're still weak from your ordeal. Whatever it was. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call, 'kay?'_

'_Sure.' _Dolphin nodded.

'_And I mean… _anything._' _Aqualad winked.

Dolphin didn't reply as she had fallen fast asleep.

Aqualad turned and left the med bay.

'So…?' Bumblebee asked. 'What's the what?'

'Her name is Dolphin.' Aqualad explained nonchalantly as he admired his nails. 'And she so wants me.'

'As if!' Speedy snorted. 'Are you mental?'

Aqualad just continued to admire his nails.

'Holy crap! She really does like you!' Speedy blinked in disbelief.

'The poor girl must've taken a bad hit to the head.' Bumblebee shook her head in sympathy.

'Think whatever you want, Barnacle Heads.' Aqualad smiled. 'But Dolphin likes me. So there!'

Speedy and Bumblebee just stared blankly as Aqualad strutted down the corridor.

'This is seriously fudged up, yo.' Speedy shivered.

'You're telling me.' Bumblebee nodded with a shudder. 'The day Garth gets a date is the day I eat my shoes.'

'You want some salt with those?' Speedy teased.

* * *

**TBC…**

**Next: Settling In**

_Aqualad helps Dolphin settle in to life with Titans East. Meanwhile, another young hero makes their debut. Holy Moley! It's Captain Marvel Junior!_

**

* * *

Author's Notes-**

**(1)- **_Donna Troy is Wonder Woman's younger sister. Cheetah is the newly reformed former villain that was once part of Luthor's Injustice Gang (as seen in '_Injustice forAll_'.)_

**(2)- **_Donna and Cheetah arrived in Steel City in '_Uncanny Wonder Woman'_. Bumblebee was the first candidate for Donna's metahuman swimsuit calendar._

**(3)- **_Orin is Aquaman's Atlantean name._


	2. Settling In

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 2: Settling In**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Doza- **_Actually, this is set in the UDC-Verse. The URM-Verse is my Marvel stuff._

**DarkKnight92- **_Pretty good? Is that all? Kidding! Thanks for the comments about my other work. It's nice to see some positive reviews for once._

* * *

**The Tower-**

It had been a few days since Titans East had found the mysterious young girl known only as Dolphin. Donna and Cheetah had finished their photo shoot. Cheetah decided to head back to Boston while Donna stayed with the Titans for a little while longer.

It was business as usual as the young heroes hung out watching the TV. They were watching one of their favourite shows 'Cassie the Werewolf Slayer.' Mas y Menos were watching the TV intently with identical goofy grins on their face.

'Cassie es muy bueno.'

'Si. Cassie es muy, _muy_ bueno…'

'I have no idea what you guys are talking about.' Speedy sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Over in the kitchen, Aqualad was showing Dolphin the culinary delights of Titans East. Luckily, the silver-haired young woman had proven to be a fast learner and had already learnt how to speak perfect English.

'You're not really going to eat that, are you?' Dolphin winced at the monstrosity that Aqualad called a sandwich. 'Barnacles, that thing must be bigger than a blue whale's booger.'

'I'm a growing boy.' Aqualad smiled as he liberally spread peanut butter in his sandwich.

'Yeah, on the outside.' Dolphin teased.

'Don't act like you don't like it.' Aqualad smiled charmingly. 'Go on, try some…'

'What's in there?' Dolphin blinked as she surveyed the mess of contents.

Aqualad began to count the sandwich's contents off his fingers.

'Pastrami, Swiss cheese, meatballs, peanut butter and… sprinkles.' Aqualad remembered. 'It's nummy.'

'I think I'll settle with my water, thank you.' Dolphin shivered. 'I have a delicate stomach.'

'You don't know how to live.' Aqualad tutted as he shovelled his sandwich in his mouth.

'That is just disgusting.' Dolphin stuck her tongue out in disgust. 'I'm going for a swim…'

Aqualad just smiled widely at the disappearing figure, mashed up peanut butter and cheese covering his teeth.

'That is just sick, man.' Speedy groaned as he headed in to the kitchen to grab a drink. 'I'm surprised Dolphin actually looks at you if you eat like that.'

'What can I say?' Aqualad smiled. 'The lady likes what she sees.'

'She must have lost a lot more than her memory.' Donna added as she sidled up beside Speedy, purposefully squashing herself up against him as she reached for some Doritos.

'D-Donna…!' Speedy yelped. 'Private space!'

'Don't act like you don't like it.' Donna teased as she stroked the archer's cheek.

Speedy just stood agape as Donna sidled away. The young Amazon turned back and gave him a big, sexy wink.

'And you say Dolphin's mental.' Aqualad snickered. 'Although, Donna does have a nice chassis.'

'Dude!' Speedy hissed, punching Aqualad on the arm. 'You're such a letch!'

'The ladies say otherwise.' Aqualad waggled his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

'Guys…' Bumblebee piped up from the sofa. 'I think you'd better come see this…'

'Unless it's Black Canary sitting in a vat of strawberry ice-cream then I'm not interested.' Aqualad shrugged.

Speedy pushed his fishy teammate out of the way to look at the TV screen. Their usual viewing had been interrupted by a newsflash. It seemed that some guy was attacking Steel City in a giant robot suit.

'Well, it looks like our quiet time was too good to be true.' Speedy sighed. 'Let's go save the city.'

'Can I say it?' Donna asked, her voice full of hope. 'Please let me say it…'

'Go ahead, Donna.' Speedy ushered her onwards.

Donna leapt up off her seat and struck a heroic pose.

'_Titans go!_'

* * *

**Downtown Steel City-**

Civilians and police officers alike ran for cover as giant robotic feet crushed anything and everything in its path. The bald guy in the driver's seat was having the time of his life. His name was Dr Thaddeus Bodog Sivana: generally mad scientist and arch-nemesis of the Marvel Family. Or so he liked to think.

'Ha! Run while you still can, imbeciles!' The bald-headed mad scientist crowed triumphantly as his giant robot tossed a fire truck through the air like a Frisbee. 'Nobody can defeat my almighty Destruct-O-Bot! Not even those accursed Marvels!'

'I'll see what I can do about that, Doc.'

'You!' Sivana hissed as he saw an all-too familiar figure hovering before him. The black-haired young male figure was dressed in a blue costume with a yellow lightning bolt on his chest, yellow boots and a short red cloak.

'The whelp!' Sivana hissed as his robot took a swipe at the figure, only for him to quickly dodge out of the way.

'It's CM3, actually.' The guy corrected as he grabbed the robot's claw with both hands and gave it a quick yank before ripping the arm off completely. 'Surely you would have remembered by now. Or have I hit you in the head a little too much?'

'No matter!' Sivana ranted as he pulled levers and pressed buttons. 'You will die by my hand!'

'Have I ever told you how lame your threats sound?' CM3 teased as he hovered upside down in front of Sivana's control bubble atop the robot's head. 'I mean, really, it's like you're out of the Fifties or something.'

'I'll show you who is lame!' Sivana yelled as he activated the robot's rocket launchers.

The missile impacted against CM3 in a giant fireball.

'I've done it!' Sivana crowed triumphantly. 'I have finally disposed of him!'

'Now, that wasn't very nice, was it?' CM3 sighed as he dusted himself off. 'You should know by now that I'm invincible.'

'Fool!' Sivana ranted as his robot's remaining arm rose up and tried to swing at CM3 once more.

'This is getting old Sivana, really.' CM3 sighed as he ripped the arm off with hardly any effort at all. 'Giant robots? _Please!_ They're so cliché.'

CM3 then jumped on top of Sivana's control bubble and punched a hole in the canopy, grabbing hold of the villain.

'What do you say we go for a walk?' CM3 smirked as he dragged Sivana out of his robot.

'Fool! Unhand me!' Sivana demanded.

'I think that would be a bad idea, seeing how high up we are.' CM3 noted. 'Unless you want to end up as sidewalk pizza.'

'You shall pay for this!' Sivana threatened. 'Don't think for one moment that you won't pay!'

'Yeah. Sure. Whatever.' CM3 replied, not really listening to the defeated villain's rants and threats.

The surviving cops aimed their weapons at Sivana, should he cause any more trouble.

'You can lower your weapons now, officers.' CM3 explained. 'Sivana isn't any danger without his giant robot.'

'Thanks, Marvel Kid.' One officer said.

'It's CM3, actually.' The young hero corrected.

'Not that I don't appreciate this or anything…' The officer in charge said as Sivana was lead away. 'But… shouldn't you been in Fawcett City? That's your city, right?'

'It's complicated.' CM3 evaded the question. 'I wonder why Titans East didn't show up…'

'Because we wanted to see how you'd handle everything.' Speedy answered as he swung down to the ground along with the rest of Titans East.

'Speedy, right?' CM3 remembered as he held out his hand.

'Pleased to meet you.' The Titans' leader smiled as he shook CM3's hand. 'The rest of these guys are Aqualad, Bumblebee, Mas y Menos, Troia and Dolphin.'

'I've heard so much about you, uh… Cap Junior.' Donna smiled. 'My sister has only kind words for the Marvels.'

'And your sister would be…?' CM3 blinked.

'Diana.' Donna explained. 'Formerly known as Wonder Woman.'

'Oh, right.' CM3 nodded. 'You look just like her.'

'Except I don't have a thing for dark, brooding types.' Donna grinned. 'I kind of have a thing for archers myself.'

'You don't mind me intruding on your turf, do you?' CM3 asked. 'It's just… I've tracked Sivana all the way from STAR Labs. That's where he stole that giant robot from.'

'He is one of your rogues.' Bumblebee shrugged. 'It's only natural that you get to take him down.'

'I don't mean to impose but… I do have an ulterior motive for coming here…' CM3 confessed. 'I kind of had a falling-out with the Big Red Cheese…'

'The Big Red Cheese?' Dolphin asked. She wasn't very well versed in the various superheroes there were.

'That's Captain Marvel's nickname.' Aqualad whispered. 'There's also Mary Marvel, Uncle Marvel and Hoppy the Marvel Bunny. Although, I think the Bunny's just a myth.'

'And this falling-out wouldn't happen to have anything to do with a certain female Marvel, would it?' Bumblebee surmised.

'Yeah…' CM3 nodded embarrassedly. 'Cap found out that I was dating Mary. He was always protective of her…'

'I guess that all there is left to do is welcome you to Titans East.' Speedy grinned as he patted CM3 on the back. 'We hope you survive…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Jade**

_Titans East gets their last new member as the HIVE Graduates hit Steel City. Now that Jinx is with the Suicide Squad, who will take her place on the team? Tune in next time to find out…_


	3. Jade

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 3: Jade**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Mimato-4eva- **_Yes, Jade is indeed Alan Scott, the first Green Lantern's daughter. I'm glad you like this story. Hopefully you'll like this chapter too._

**Icha- **_Mmm, Dolphin wearing Daisy Dukes…That's a sight all right. Keep your eyes peeled for more from your favourite under-used marine character._

**Todd fan- **_Black Canary in a vat of ice-cream, nummy…_

**Doza- **_Titans East already have a powerhouse, remember? Donna Troy isn't exactly a pushover herself. Yes, Jade is Alan Scott's daughter. If Jade is in this, I wonder where her brother, Obsidian, is…? _

**Proponent of EVO- **_CM3 and Elvis jokes? I don't get it…_

**Lavender Gaia-** _Yeah! Bring in Donna Troy, dammit! Give Speedy his personality back! Woo-hoo! In the comics Garth and Dolphin are a little more than boyfriend/girlfriend. They're married and have a child together._

* * *

**Quote of the day- **_'Oh Lisa, you and your stories. Bart is a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now, let's go back to that building… thingie where our beds and TV… is.'_

* * *

**Titans Island-**

Several members of the East Coast branch of the Teen Titans were gathered outside their Tower. Donna Troy and Dolphin were having an impromptu duel with staffs. Speedy, Aqualad and Captain Marvel Junior were watching.

'I just think that I had better warn you in advance, Dolphin…' Donna stated as she twirled her staff around in her hand. 'I have been trained by some of Themyscira's finest warriors.'

'I'm not exactly defenceless myself.' Dolphin responded as she held her staff in readiness.

'This is gonna be so sweet!' Aqualad grinned. 'Catfight! Catfight! Catfight!'

'It's even better that they're duking it out on the bridge.' Speedy added as he indicated the small bridge that crossed the pond nearby.

'Preaching to the choir, my friend.' Aqualad nodded. 'It looks like we may be having an unforeseen wet t-shirt contest.'

'Sweet!' Speedy chuckled, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

'You guys should be ashamed of yourselves.' Captain Marvel Junior tutted. 'Donna and Dolphin are not objects to be drooled over.'

'I bet you'd change your tune if Mary Marvel was in with them as well.' Aqualad snickered.

Captain Marvel Junior just frowned at his teammates and turned back to Donna and Dolphin.

'Ready?' Donna asked.

'Ready.' Dolphin nodded.

And with that, the duel began. Donna was the first to strike as she swiped at Dolphin's legs, only for the mysterious silver-haired young woman to jump over the swing and bring her own staff in to attack. Donna brought up her staff up to block Dolphin's attack.

'That was a good try, Dolphin…' Donna grunted as she tested her opponent's strength. 'But not good enough, I'm afraid.'

'I'm just testing your weaknesses, Donna…' Dolphin responded as she pushed back. 'And right now I can sense that you talk too much during battle.'

'Talking during battle distracts your opponent, Dolphin.' Donna responded as she jabbed at Dolphin with her staff, only for her opponent to block it. 'Hmm, good block.'

'Thanks.' Dolphin smiled as she swept Donna's legs from under her. 'Do you submit?'

'Never!' Donna responded as she leapt up and kicked Dolphin on the chin.

'Ooh!' Speedy hissed. 'That's gotta hurt!'

'Don't count Dolphin out, just yet.' Aqualad smirked. 'She's pretty tough.'

'Donna's tougher.' Speedy countered. 'And she's gonna kick your girl's cute little butt!'

'If there's any butt-kicking to be done around here, Dolphin is the one that's gonna do it!' Aqualad retorted.

Back on the bridge, Donna had regained her footing and had resumed her duel with Dolphin. Donna repeatedly jabbed at Dolphin with the edge of her staff, making the silver-haired young woman inch ever closer to the edge of the bridge with every blow that she blocked. Dolphin then surprised Donna with a startlingly quick attack as she spun her staff around like a propeller and hit Donna on the side of the head, making the Amazon stumble back.

'Yeah! That's the stuff!' Aqualad cheered. 'Finish her off, Dolphin! Do it, do it, do it!'

'C'mon Donna, you can fight back!' Speedy yelled. 'Show her who's the boss!'

'Are you ready to give up yet, Dolphin?' Donna asked as the pair clashed their staffs together, struggling for dominance.

'I'm hardly getting started, Donna…' Dolphin responded, sweat starting to dot her brow. 'I'm not giving up until one of us ends up in that water!'

'If that's the way you want it…' Donna grinned as she backed away slightly. 'Enjoy your dip!'

Dolphin lost her footing as Donna charged at her and tumbled off the bridge straight in to the pond.

'Yeah Donna!' Speedy crowed in victory. 'You kicked ass! In your face, Garth!'

'Don't be so hasty, Roy…' Aqualad smirked. 'Dolphin isn't beaten yet…'

Donna stumbled a bit as the bridge she was standing on began to rumble.

'Oh, Hera. I don't like where this is going…' Donna winced, just as a giant waterspout burst out of the pond, sending her flying high into the air.

'Hey! No fair!' Speedy groused. 'We swore at the beginning that this was a strictly no-powers match!'

'Don't worry about it, Speedy.' Aqualad grinned. 'There's always another day.'

Speedy was about to retort when Donna fell straight in to his lap.

'Oh! You caught me!' Donna smiled cheekily. 'My hero…'

Speedy blushed slightly at the close contact between himself and Donna.

Donna leant in close to whisper in to Speedy's ear.

'Although, in Themyscira, we tend to cut off the hands of people who put their hands where you presently have yours…'

Speedy gulped nervously as he realised where he had his hand. Speedy had his hand right on Donna's boob! The young archer dropped Donna with a yelp.

Donna pouted slightly.

'I didn't say that it was a bad thing, however…'

Further flirtatious behaviour was unfortunately cut short as Bumblebee came flying down form the Tower with Mas y Menos close behind.

'Guys! We've got a situation in the city!' Bumblebee blurted. 'It's Mammoth and Gizmo! They've busted in to the Steel City branch of STAR Labs. They've already stolen something that the labs were experimenting on!'

'We have to stop them!' Speedy said as he got to his feet. 'There's no telling what kind of dangerous weapon those losers have got their hands on!'

'Can I say it?' Donna asked excitedly. 'Please tell me it's my turn to say it…'

'Marvel's the newest, I'm afraid, Donna.' Speedy apologised. 'So really it's his turn to say it.'

'Really?' Captain Marvel Junior blinked. 'Cool. Titans East… **_GO!_**'

* * *

**Steel City-**

Steel City was in a state of chaos as the former HIVE Graduates known as Mammoth and Gizmo took on the cops. Gizmo easily outmanoeuvred the cops on his jetpack while Mammoth ploughed through the patrol cars.

'Haw! Who needs a pit-sniffer like Jinx when we're doing so well by ourselves?' Gizmo grinned as he blew up a patrol car with his miniature rocket launcher.

'I'm glad that she sold us out for the Suicide Squad.' Mammoth added with a snort as he booted another patrol car out of his way.

'Now, didn't your mothers tell you not to break other people's toys?' A voice quipped above their heads.

Mammoth looked up just in time to se a giant green fist heading towards his face.

'Mammoth!' Gizmo yelled as his friend and teammate was sent flying through the air. 'I'll get you for that, you slug-humping crud-muncher!'

'I've heard better insults from my pet hamster.' The green-skinned young woman known as Jade rolled her eyes.

Jenny-Lynn Hayden was the daughter of Earth's first Green Lantern: Alan Scott. Unlike her legendary father, Jade, as Jenny had christened herself, didn't need a Power Ring to use her powers. Jade's powers were natural. She had been born with the ability to manipulate emerald energies very similar to those of a Green Lantern's Power Ring. As well as her energy manipulation skills, Jenny was born with green skin and hair. She was dressed in a mostly green uniform with a GL symbol on her chest, white boots and gloves.

Gizmo tried to blast the green-skinned young woman with rockets launchers that popped out of his jet pack. Jade simply deflected them with a green energy shield.

'You boys have never fought a Green Lantern before, have you?' Jade asked, her hands on her hips. 'Okay, I'm not exactly an official Green Lantern, but I did date one for a while… Then there's my dad, he was Earth's original Lantern…. But I'm babbling, let's get back down to business!'

Gizmo blasted Jade with more rockets, which still ricocheted off her energy shield.

'You ever give up, do you, Shorty?' Jade sighed.

'Not while you're still breathing, Booger-Breath!' Gizmo retorted.

'_Please._ Spare me.' Jade snorted. 'Get yourself some decent insults. Really, you're embarrassing yourself as well as me.'

Jade willed the emerald energy within her body to take the shape of a giant mallet. Jade couldn't help but smile as she sent a screaming Gizmo flying into an abandoned hotdog cart.

'_Please_ tell me that you give up…' Jade sighed as she hovered above the defeated Gizmo. 'I blew off a hot date to come kick your butts.'

Jade didn't even look as a newly recovered Mammoth came charging towards her, only to be repelled by another green energy shield.

'Geez. Stubborn much?' Jade sighed.

Gizmo just groaned in response as he fell into unconsciousness.

'Well, that was annoying…' Jade muttered as she dusted off her hands. 'Why I ever moved away from New York, I'll never know…'

Jade was about to fly off when she sensed other people approaching.

'Aww, for crying out loud!' Speedy groaned as Donna lowered him to the ground. 'We missed all the action _again!_'

'This is starting to become a habit.' Aqualad sighed. 'Oh well, at least a hot chick saved the day for once.'

'That's a nice job you did there.' Bumblebee nodded as she inspected the fallen Gizmo and Mammoth. 'Eat your hearts out Titans West!'

'I was kind of looking forward to a fight, actually.' Dolphin sniffed. 'I haven't fought any villains since I've been here.'

'Me neither, sweetie.' Donna sighed. 'I guess we'll have to make do with our training sessions.'

'I'm Jade, by the way…' The green-skinned girl introduced herself. 'And I'm guessing you guys would be Titans East. Now, let me see if I can remember this right…Speedy, Aqualad, Bumblebee, Mas y Menos, Donna Troy, Dolphin and Captain Marvel Junior.'

'Yup, that's us.' Speedy nodded. 'We're Titans East.'

'Hey, we're looking to even out the numbers a bit.' Bumblebee pointed out. 'If it's okay with you guys, I'd like to ask Jade to join us. What do you say?'

'I'm okay.' Captain Marvel Junior nodded.' We could always use a Lantern on the team.'

The rest of the team all gave their assent.

'Well, I guess that I'd be a fool to turn you guys down.' Jade smiled.

Speedy shook Jade's hand, cementing the deal.

'Well, all that I guess there is left to say is… Welcome to Titans East, we hope you survive.'

'Must you say that _every_ time?' Aqualad groaned.

Unseen by the Titans, somebody had already made away with Gizmo and Mammoth's prize. The dark figure ducked in to the shadows of a nearby alley before he could be seen.

'Oh, you heroes think that you're all that…' The shadowed figure muttered to himself. 'But you'll soon find out that Obsidian doesn't choose his enemies idly. As for you, precious little Jenny, I'll be back for you, just as soon as I deliver this to Dr S. But until then, I'll let you all live. For now…'

**TBC…**

**

* * *

Next: Black Manta**

_What were Gizmo and Mammoth trying to steal? What does it have to do with a dead Teen Titan? Who are Obsidian and Dr S? All those questions will have to wait until another day as an old… _friend_ of Dolphin's makes an appearance. Introducing: Black Manta!_


	4. Black Manta: Part 1

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 4: Black Manta: Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Author's Notes- **_I'm going to have to stop replying to reviews in my fics as there is a new rule on ffnet. Damn them. I'll try to respond to your personally however. Damn ffnet…_

* * *

**Quote of the day- **_'Oh, I go into comas all the time… Zzzz… French toast, please!'_

* * *

**Steel City Pier-**

The Steel City pier was bustling with activity, as it always was approaching Christmas time. Titans East had chosen to visit the pier to enjoy the entertainment it offered. The pier's most loved attraction was the large Ferris wheel that took pride of place in the middle of the pier.

The Titans had all split into pairs and gone off on their own. Donna had dragged Speedy off towards the refreshment stand while Jade and Captain Marvel Junior, aka CM3, headed for the games booths. That just left Aqualad and Dolphin to themselves, which suited the young Atlanteans just fine.

'Oh Garth, I've never seen such a beautiful sight…' Dolphin gushed as she looked around at all the bright lights and whatnot. 'We never had anything like this in Atlantis.'

'Preaching to the choir, babe.' Aqualad smiled as he wrapped his arm around his friend's waist. 'You're not the King's adopted son.'

'Surely Aquaman isn't that bad.' Dolphin responded.

'If only that was true.' Aqualad shook his head.

'Oh, come on.' Dolphin chuckled. 'Is he _really_ that bad?'

'I guess not…' Aqualad sighed. 'Aquaman's a good guy, I guess.'

Dolphin smiled and leant against a lamppost and looked out to sea.

'It really is a beautiful night tonight, don't you think?'

'Not as beautiful as some of the things here…' Aqualad responded as he leant in close. 'I can see one thing that is far more beautiful than the sea out there…'

Dolphin's cheeks flushed at the compliment.

'Garth…' She began.

'Shhhh…' Aqualad responded as he placed a gentle kiss on to Dolphin's lips. Dolphin returned the kiss and gently laced her arms around Aqualad's neck.

'Mmm, that was magnificent…' Dolphin smiled dreamily. 'You really are a great kisser, Garth.'

'Then why don't we kiss again?' Aqualad smiled as he leant in for another.

Unfortunately, the pair never got a second chance as something smashed through the pier beneath them, sending civilians running for cover.

'What in Poseidon's name?' Aqualad spluttered as he saw the black submarine-type vehicle before him.

'Oh God, please not him…' Dolphin mumbled fearfully as she began to back away. 'Please Garth, we have to get away!'

'Why are you so desperate to leave, my dear?' A mechanised voice asked as a hatch in the submersible opened up and a figure began to walk out. 'Don't I get a hug or something?'

'Who the shell are you, buddy?' Aqualad sneered. 'I like to know the names of the people whose butts I'm about to kick!'

'Oh, so much like your father.' The black-clad figure tutted. The mysterious attacker also had some kind of weird helmet on his head, totally hiding his face. The helmet was oval shape and had two big red eyes on it.

'How do you know Aquaman?' Aqualad demanded.

'You could say that we go back quite some way…' The figure explained. 'Oh, how rude of me. I haven't introduced myself. My name is Black Manta, and I am here to kill your delightful little girlfriend!'

* * *

**Several minutes earlier-**

Donna and Speedy had loaded themselves up with goodies and, had headed for the Ferris wheel. Once their cart reached the top, the ride stopped so the riders could enjoy the view around them.

Donna slowly inched closer to Speedy with a mischievous smile on her face.

'Wow, I've never seen a view like this before.' Speedy gawked as he looked around. 'Sure, there have been plenty other views when I've been fighting bad guys on the roofs of buildings, but this isn't really the same.'

'Mmm, whatever you say, sweetie…' Donna murmured as she inched ever closer.

Speedy turned to look at Donna but ended up closer to her than he had thought. They were literally face-to-face!

'Boo.' Donna smiled before slapping a great big kiss upon the surprised archer. Speedy initially tried to resist but soon found himself returning the kiss.

Donna murmured in happiness as she ran her hands up Speedy's back and he ran his hands through her hair in return. It was Donna's first kiss in Man's World and she wanted to make it last.

Unfortunately, the kiss was short-lived as an explosion down on the end of the pier broke them apart.

'What the Hell…?' Speedy yelped. 'What's going on?'

'Whoever is responsible for this had better make their peace…' Donna growled. 'Because I _hate_ being interrupted…'

With their moment of passion forgotten for the time being, Donna picked Speedy up and flew off in the direction of the explosion.

* * *

**Jade and Captain Marvel Junior-**

Jade and Captain Marvel Junior strolled through the area of the pier dedicated to fairground games, tests of strength, the like.

'Go on Freddy, have a go at something.' Jade ushered her teammate. 'You never know, you might actually have some fun.'

'It wouldn't be fair of me to test my strength.' Captain Marvel Junior replied. 'I might injure somebody accidentally even if I use a fraction of my powers.'

'Spoilsport…' Jade sulked. 'So, you got a girl back home?'

Captain Marvel Junior blinked in surprise at Jade's sudden question.

'E-excuse me…?' He sputtered. 'Could you repeat the question?'

'Don't worry…' Jade reassured him. 'I'm not trying to hit on you, or anything. I'm just making conversation. Is it true what I hear about you and Mary Marvel?'

CM3 groaned inwardly. He knew this question was coming. His relationship with the female member of the Marvel Family was well known. The pair had been close but had grown apart ever since Mary Marvel joined the International branch of the Justice League in Britain.

'Mary and I were close…' CM3 sighed. 'Despite her brother's over-protectiveness. We hung out a little bit, I guess. We went to the movies and the like. But then she accepted a place in the JLI…'

Jade's heart went out to the young hero. The green-skinned young woman put a comforting arm around her friend.

'But you guys aren't officially broken up, are you?' Jade asked.

'Well, I guess not…' CM3 nodded. 'At least she still returns my calls. And I guess that I'll see her again when I go back to Fawcett City for Christmas.'

'Kisses under the mistletoe. Gotta love it…' Jade smiled.

'What about you, Jade?' CM3 asked. 'Do you have somebody special?'

Jade looked up to the sky and smiled to herself.

'Yeah, I guess I do.' She smiled. 'Well, sometimes. I have an on-off relationship with a Green Lantern. Do you know Kyle Rayner?'

'I can't say that I know him personally.' CM3 responded. 'But I know of him.'

'Well, we usually hang out when he's not off in space saving the Universe and whatnot.' Jade explained. 'But it gets a little difficult sometimes, y'know? Just waiting and not knowing whether he's alive.'

'I'm sure that Kyle is fine.' CM3 smiled. 'Those Green Lanterns are professionals.'

Jade gave CM3 a grateful hug.

'Thanks, Freddy. It's wonderful to have somebody to talk to. As much as I like the others, sometimes I get the feeling that they're not really listening to me and just staring at my boobs. And I don't just mean Roy and Garth, Donna does it as well.'

'I always wondered what somebody would get up to on an island populated solely by women…' CM3 nodded. 'Not that I'm against that kind of thing, it's just that I've never met a girl that likes other girls that way.'

'Yeah, same here.' Jade agreed. 'Donna's sweet and all, bi-sexual or not, but that just isn't my thing. I like guys too much.'

CM3 yelped in surprise as he was knocked off his feet by an explosion nearby.

'Holey moley! What was that?'

'It sounded like an explosion!' Jade realized as she helped CM3 up to his feet. 'It came from the end of the pier. Oh God! That's where Garth and Dolphin went! They could be in trouble!'

Jade's body was surrounded by a green light as she flew up into the air with CM3 close behind her.

CM3 looked over at the wrecked pier end with concern.

'I just hope that we're not too late…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Black Manta- Part 2**

_Why does Black Manta want to kill Dolphin? Will Roy and Donna ever get any smoochie time alone? Tune in next time to find out…_


	5. Black Manta: Part 2

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 5: Black Manta: Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Quote of the day- **_'Megatron is dead! Long live Starscream!'- **Nova (Uncanny Transformers COMING SOON!)**_

* * *

**Steel City Pier-**

Aqualad stood in front of Dolphin protectively. Black Manta's expression was unreadable underneath his bulbous red-eyed helmet.

'Can we hurry up with the fight, please?' The villain sighed. 'I have a schedule to keep, you know.'

'You're not going to kill Dolphin, Manta…' Aqualad narrowed his eyes angrily. 'Just flop into whichever scum pit you crawled out of, and we'll pretend all this never happened.'

'No can do, I'm afraid, kid.' Black Manta shook his head. 'I've been paid to bump off your little chippy, and that's what I intend to do.'

'Over my dead body…' Aqualad growled.

'Garth, don't…' Dolphin warned her friend. 'You don't know what Black Manta is capable of…'

'Oh, I'm sure he's nothing too major.' Aqualad rolled his eyes. 'I bet that all this will be over and done with in no time.'

'It's good to see optimism in kids nowadays.' Black Manta quipped, before blasting Aqualad off his feet with a laser beam from his helmet.

'_Garth!_' Dolphin screamed.

'I'm okay…' Aqualad coughed as he slowly got up to his feet. 'It's gonna take a lot more than that to kill me…'

Black Manta was about to take one more shot at Aqualad. He never had the chance, as he was knocked back into the sea by a red blur.

'Garth! Are you okay?' Speedy asked as he ran up to his fallen teammate.

'Never felt better…' Aqualad sniffed as he dusted himself off.

'Who was that guy, anyway?' Donna Troy queried as she surveyed the water where Black Manta had fallen.

'That's something that I'd like to know myself…' Aqualad nodded. 'Dolphin, why was he after you?'

Fortunately for Dolphin, but unfortunately for the others, Black Manta was anything but defeated. The villain leapt out of the water and knocked Donna down to the ground with a nasty kick to the face.

'You'll pay for that, witch…' Manta hissed as he tried to straighten out his damaged helmet. 'I was only paid to take out the white witch, but I'd happily take care of **_you _**for free!'

'That's what you think, friend!' A voice bellowed high above the villain.

Black Manta look upwards, only to get a face full of CM3.

'We haven't missed anything fun, have we?' Jade inquired with a grin as she and CM3 landed . 'Nobody's hurt too bad?'

'Just a lot of property damage.' Speedy explained. 'Dolphin was just about to explain why this guy was after her.'

Jade and CM3 looked at the white-haired Atlantean expectantly.

'I hate kids…' Black Manta hissed as he struggled to his feet. 'That's it! Enough screwing around! I'm going to kill you all!'

The assembled Titans gasped at the sight. Black Manta's helmet had fallen to pieces to reveal a monstrous half-human half-manta ray creature with evil blood-red eyes and deadly needle-like teeth.

Speedy was the first to open his mouth.

'Geez, you're one ugly mother…'

Speedy never got to finish, as something huge picked him up and slammed him against the pier. The giant mutant lobster creature then smashed the young archer into the ground.

'_ROY!_' Donna screamed. 'You'll pay for this, monster!'

'Oh no, not so fast, my dear…' Black Manta shook his head. 'I have plenty more Lobster Men for everybody. I was hoping that it wouldn't come to this, but it seems that I require assistance. Lobster Men… _ATTACK!_'

* * *

**Meanwhile, in the Metropolis residence of Scott and Barda Free-**

The former female Fury known as Barda was busily pottering about in the kitchen. It had been such a long time since she and her husband Scott (also known as the world famous escape artist Mr Miracle) had sat down to have a nice romantic meal. Barda was by no means a stellar cook, but she managed to get by.

Barda lit the candles on the table and set out the wine glasses. She and Scott _would_ have a romantic dinner, Justice League be damned. If the League needed their assistance, they could just wait until another time. Married life came before saving the world.

Barda looked about the kitchen to make sure that everything was to her satisfaction. Once that everything had been placed in the right position, Barda poured herself a glass of wine to celebrate.

'Mmm, Green Arrow has great taste…' Barda licked her lips. 'A huge change from the Grog of Apokalips that Scott usually drinks…'

Barda headed into the living room to tell her husband that dinner was ready. Unfortunately, the statuesque warrior was almost knocked off her feet as Scott zoomed in on his anti-grav discs, dressed in his red-and-yellow Mr Miracle uniform.

'Barda!' Scott blurted excitedly. 'It's the League! There's a situation in Idaho! They need our help!'

Barda frowned at her excitable husband and crossed her arms over her ample bosom.

'Scott…' She warned, narrowing her eyes. 'What have I told you?'

'But Barda…' Scott started to object. 'The League…'

'The League can wait.' Barda frowned. 'You fully well know that Wednesday is our private night, Justice League or no Justice League. Do I make myself clear?'

'But…'

'Do I make myself clear?' Barda asked more forcefully, standing up straight to her full six-foot-two.

Scott slumped his shoulders in disappointment.

'Yes dear…' Scott sighed. 'But you have to explain it to Batman.'

'Oh, I _intend _to…' Barda narrowed her eyes. 'I have a few choice words for the Dark Knight regarding consideration for others…'

* * *

**Steel City-**

Back in Steel City, Titans east were having no trouble at all with Black Manta's Lobster Men. The mutated creatures were vicious, but not very smart. They were certainly no match for Donna and Freddy's super-strength. The Lobster Men were torn apart like their smaller, much more edible counterparts.

Speedy picked a chunk of Lobster Man off his shoulder and gave it a cursory sniff before popping it in his mouth.

_'Roy!' _Donna hissed. 'That was disgusting!'

'Heh. Just tastes like regular lobster.' Speedy chuckled. 'Okay, it could do with some butter or tartare sauce.'

'That was just sick, man!' Aqualad shivered. 'You _ate_ a bad guy!'

'It was just a little piece.' Speedy shrugged. 'It's not like I went Hannibal Lecter on him.'

'Roy, we don't eat our enemies…' Jade pointed out. 'No matter how delicious.'

'Geez, sorry for being hungry...' Speedy sniffed.

'Excuse me?' Black Manta piped up. 'Do you mind? I thought we were supposed to be having a fight scene...'

'Well, seeing that you asked so nicely...' CM3 chuckled as he cracked his knuckles. 'You don't happen to like sushi, do you?'

'Can't stand the stuff.' Manta replied. 'Brings me out in a rash. Why?'

CM3's smile just grew as he slugged Black Manta on the chin, catapulting him into the sea.

'No reason.'

'That looked like a pretty nasty punch.' Jade pointed out. 'Perhaps I'd better fish him out...'

A fishing hat, complete with bait hooks, appeared on Jade's head as she used her Green Lantern powers to make a fishing rod.She used it to pull Black Manta out of the sea. She then contained him in a giant see-through bag, like how you would keep a goldfish after winning it at the fair.

'Well, that's one villain bagged and ready for dispatch.' Speedy snickered as he tapped the surface of the bag. 'I hope Steel City Prison has a big enough fish tank.'

'I'm still confused why the guy was after Dolphin in the first place...' Aqualad sighed. 'Dolphin, if there's any time to tell us, you may as well tell us now.'

Dolphin sighed heavily. It would be quite a while until the police arrived so she may as well give her explanations.

'Have you ever heard of Gamemnae, Garth?' The white-haired Atlantean asked.

'Sure.' Aqualad nodded. 'She's like the Atlantean verison of the Boogeyman. Eat your kelp or Gamemnae will get you.'

Dolphin took a deep breath before continuing.

'Well... Gamemnae... is... is my mother!'

* * *

**Metropolis, several hours later-**

Barda was snuggled up in bed, a small smile on her face. She and Scott had finished their romantic dinner, and had retired to bed for more private time.

The former Female Fury rolled on her side to check up on her husband. All that greeted Barda was an empty bed. Scott had left.

'Oh, I'll make you regret that you escaped from Granny Goodness, Scott!' Barda growled as she sat up. 'That darn man, he's so infuriating sometimes...'

Barda was prevented from wreaking her revenge as Scott burst into the room.

Barda squinted at the sudden burst of light from the hallway.

'Barda! Barda!' Scott exclaimed excitedly. 'I've got great news!'

'Oberon called, didn't he?' Barda sighed as she flopped back down onto the bed. 'I swear, one of these days, I'm going to stomp that man flat!'

'We have to leave straight away!' Scott explained as he began to run about the bedroom packing his case. 'We're going to Steel City!'

'Can't wait...' Barda slurred sleepily before falling asleep again.

Scott tutted to himself as his wife began to snore quietly.

'Some people have no stamina.'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: The Origin of Dolphin**

_Dolphin explains her link to Gamemnae. Meanwhile, Speedy and the other Titans go to see Mr Miracle's escape act. Unfortunately, Granny Goodness and her Female Furies have something to say about it. Mr Miracle and Big Barda guest star._


	6. The Origin of Dolphin

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 6: The Origin of Dolphin**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Steel City-**

The air in Titans East Tower was very tense. Ever since Dolphin had revealed her familial link to the ancient Atlantean sorceress known as Gamemnae, the other members of Titans East had been rather wary around her. They didn't really know how to react to someone who was the daughter of a nigh-immortal sorceress.

However, the one that was hit the worst was Aqualad. He and Dolphin had become very close in recent weeks, and Dolphin's sudden revelation had put a damper on their relationship. That was precisely why Speedy, Donna, Jade and Captain Marvel Junior had decided to go out for the night. Aqualad and Dolphin needed to talk.

Speedy and the others were going to see a show at Steel City Theatre. Mister Miracle was in town, and Donna had been going on about seeing him ever since she heard the news. Not to mention, who was Speedy to deny Donna a good night out?

The young archer in question was waiting patiently outside the tower. CM3 was with him as well. The guys were all in their civvies. They didn't really want fans clamouring for autographs while they were on a night out.

'I know that it takes women a long time to get changed, but geez! It's been three hours already! If Donna keeps this up, we'll end up missing the show!'

'Oh, I'm sure that it hasn't been _that_ long, Roy.' CM3 chuckled. 'It hasn't even been half-an-hour yet.'

'It's still too damn long to wait…' Roy sulked.

'Aww, let the baby have his bottle.' Jade smirked as she flew down to the ground with Donna close behind. 'Geez Roy, you're supposed to be the team leader, but you act like such a spoilt child sometimes.'

'I think that it's kind of sweet, actually.' Donna shrugged. 'It makes me want to hug him forever.'

Donna then gave Roy a little twirl.

'Well then Roy, how do I look?' Donna inquired with a grin as she held out her arms. 'Does this dress make my butt look big? It doesn't push my boobs out too far, does it? Do you think it's my colour?'

Roy just held his chin in his hand as he looked Donna over.

'Roy?' Donna frowned slightly. 'Hello, Roy? Earth to Speedy, come in please.'

'I think you've lost him, Donna.' Jade chuckled. 'I knew buying that dress was a good idea.'

'Preaching to the converted, Jen.' Donna smirked as she sauntered over to Roy. 'C'mon stud, let's get going.' Donna added as she pinched Roy on the backside.

'Why am I suddenly relieved that I'm dating Mary Marvel?' CM3 sighed. 'She never does anything like grab me on the backside.'

'Just give it time, Freddy.' Donna chuckled. 'Then you'll find out that Mary isn't so innocent. Besides, she hangs out with that Fire woman, right?'

Freddy's eyes widened in fear.

'Holy moley!'

Donna just smiled and patted the young Marvel on the shoulder.

'Yeah, that's just what I thought.'

* * *

**Back inside the tower-**

While the other Titans were preparing for their night out, Aqualad was having a swim in the rooftop pool. The young Atlantean knew that he had to talk to Dolphin about her link to Gamemnae. Heck, it wasn't every day that you found out that your girlfriend was a blood-relation to one of the most feared sorceresses in Atlantean history.

Aqualad hefted himself out of the pool with a grunt.

'Garth, can we talk?'

Aqualad looked up to see a nervous Dolphin standing inside the doorway that led up to the roof.

'I was just coming to see you actually, Dolphin.' Aqualad nodded as he grabbed a towel and began to dry himself off. 'I gather that I won't have to guess what you want to talk about…'

'Can we talk inside?' Dolphin asked, not moving from her place in the doorway. 'I-I'd rather we do it that way.'

'Sure.' Garth shrugged. 'Just as long as we get to talk about it, right?'

Dolphin just nodded silently and began to walk back inside.

Garth followed the silver-haired young woman downstairs into the living room and took a seat next to her on the couch.

Dolphin took a deep breath before she began.

'Well, you already know that Gamemnae isn't a legend. She is real. Several thousand years ago, the Atlantean Royal Family tried to put her to death. They captured Gamemnae's magical form in an enchanted flask. Unfortunately, the flask wasn't strong enough to hold her…'

Dolphin's story was cut short as the Tower was rocked as something collided with it.

'What in Poseidon's name was _that?_' Garth yelled as he jumped to his feet.

'I think we have trouble.' Dolphin noted as she pointed out the window. 'Look!'

Garth looked out the window to see what all the fuss was. He saw several giant lobster creatures similar to the ones the Titans had defeated at the pier a week or so ago. The lobster creatures were smashing at the base of the tower.

'I thought we locked Black Manta away for good.' Garth frowned.

'That isn't Black Manta.' Dolphin pointed out as she indicated a man dressed all in purple with a high-collared cloak and a strange starfish-like eye mask. The mysterious stranger was also holding a strange golden trident in his hands as he commanded the lobster creatures to do his bidding.

'I am the Ocean Master!' The stranger yelled as he held his trident high above his head. 'I command the entire ocean! I demand that you come down to meet me in battle!'

'Are we gonna go down there and kick his butt, or what?' Garth looked at Dolphin.

'A-are you sure…?' Dolphin answered nervously. 'H-he looks dangerous.'

'The dude's called _Ocean Master.' _Garth snorted. 'Just how much of a badass could he be with a lame name like **that?'**

* * *

**Elsewhere-**

Meanwhile, in the Steel City Theatre, Roy and the rest of the Titans were waiting for the show to begin. Mister Miracle was one of the universe's most infamous escape artists, and tickets to his shows often sold out straight away.

'Ooh. I can't _wait_ to see Mister Miracle in action.' Donna beamed. 'Diana has told me so much about him. His escapades are legendary.'

'I heard he was an alien.' Jenny piped up.

'Have you seen that wife of his?' Roy grinned widely. '_Yowzer_!'

'_Roy!_' Donna hissed as she elbowed her boyfriend in the ribs. 'I _am_ sitting right here, you know!'

'Yes, dear.' Roy bowed his head. 'Sorry, dear.'

'Can you guys please shush?' Freddy hushed. 'The show is about to start.'

Donna and the others did as they were told and sat back to enjoy the show.

'Ladies and gentleman…' Mister Miracle announced. 'This trick that I am about to attempt is one of the most dangerous in the galaxy. Only five people have ever attempted to try this trick. All but one of them died in the process!'

The audience gasped in shock. Was Mister Miracle suicidal?

'_Must_ you tempt the audience so much, Scott?' Barda whispered.

'It's all part of the show, my darling.' Mister Miracle smirked as he stepped into a straight jacket.

'Now, my beautiful wife, Barda, and my loyal assistant, Oberon, are tying me in in this straight jacket. They will then lower me into this tank of water. Once I have been fastened securely, Oberon will set the timer for fifteen seconds. Once those fifteen seconds have elapsed, the tank will implode, destroying anything and everything inside!'

Another shocked gasp rose from the audience.

'I said this before, and I'm gonna say this again…' Oberon whispered. 'Yer nuts fer tryin' this, Scott.'

'Oh, have a little faith in me, old man.' Scott smirked. 'This trick is child's play.'

Unfortunately, the trick never had time to finish as something smashed its way through the theatre's wall. Scott and Barda's faces formed expressions of rage as they recognized the uninvited guests.

'**_You!' _**Barda snarled. 'We thought you were dead!'

'Oh, doesn't Granny get a hug? Granny is very disappointed…'

Granny Goodness was one of Darkseid's most loyal servants and ruled his slave pens with a iron fist. She was also the leader of the female Furies, a squad of deadly female warriors. Lashina, Stompa, Bloody Mary, and Artemis were never far from her side. Lashina was the mistress of the energy whip, which she used with deadly accuracy. Stompa was super strong and had a penchant for stomping her victims to death. Bloody Mary was a vampire and enjoyed tearing out the throats of those that were unfortunate to come up against her. Artemis was never seen without her deadly pet Warwolves, genetically-engineered hounds that she used to rip her enemies to shreds.

'Oh, this is just great.' Roy groused as he ducked behind a row of seats. 'Supervillains attack, and here I am without my arrows.'

'Don't fret, lover.' Donna smirked as she began to stand up. 'Everybody, on my mark… Titans East, _GO!_'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Deadly Dates**

_Aqualad and Dolphin Vs Ocean Master and his lobster creatures. Speedy, Donna Troy, Jade and Captain Marvel Junior Vs Granny Goodness and her Female Furies. 'Nuff said!_


	7. Deadly Dates

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 7: Deadly Dates**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Steel City Theatre-**

'Titans East, _GO!_'

Titans East leapt in to attack Granny Goodness and her Female Furies.

Back on the stage, Barda smirked to herself and cracked her knuckles in preparation.

'And to think I said this trip to Steel City was going to be boring.'

Barda pressed a button on her belt to activate her Mother Box, which in turn conjured her battle armour.

Mr Miracle watched in wonder as his wife leapt into battle.

'You just gonna stand there and let yer wife take all the credit?' Oberon, Mr Miracle's assistant, joked.

'I know better than to interrupt Barda having fun.' Mr Miracle quipped back. 'But then again, I have been meaning to give Granny some payback ever since she kidnapped you.' **(1)**

'Give her one fer me, Scott.' Oberon nodded.

Mr Miracle gave his friend a jaunty salute and activated his Aero-Discs, flying off to fight.

'Room for a small one?' Scott quipped as he blasted the vampiric Female Fury known as Bloody Mary with a laser beam from his hand.

'_Hssss. _I'll tear out your heart for that!' Bloody Mary hissed as she leapt at her prey.

'Don't you _dare_ lay a hand on my husband, witch!' Barda yelled as she clobbered the blood-sucking woman on the head with her Mega-Rod. Bloody Mary fell to the ground with a grunt.

'Are you all right, my darling?' Barda asked concernedly.

'I am always fine with you by my side, dear.' Mr Miracle smiled thankfully.

Nearby, a weaponless Speedy was having problems of his own with Lashina. The Female Fury had her electro-whip wrapped around his neck and was beginning to choke him.

'You Earthlings are too weak.' Lashina sneered as she began to crush the young archer's windpipe. 'It's a pity. I thought you heroes were supposed to be fierce warriors.'

'We're not just any warriors...' Speedy croaked. 'We're Titans East. Oh, and another thing? You really shouldn't threaten me like that. Donna is very protective.'

Lashina was about to reply when Donna flew straight at her, smashing the whip-toting Female Fury straight through the theatre wall.

Speedy gasped for breath as he finally pulled the whip from around his throat.

'Heh. That's my girl.' Speedy grinned as he lashed out with the whip and caught one of the rafters above his head, before swinging forwards and taking out Artemis with a nasty kick to the face.

'Whelp!' Artemis growled as she wiped blood from her lip. 'Your combat skills cannot save you from my Warwolves!'

'We'll just see about that.' Speedy retorted as he cracked his stolen electro-whip. The warwolves cowered in fear at the sound of the electro-whip cracking. 'It seems your pets aren't so keen on tearing me to shreds now that I have Lashina's electro-whip. Heh. It's better than a rolled up newspaper.'

* * *

**The Tower-**

Back at the home of Titans East, Aqualad and Dolphin had their own problems. Some loser called Ocean Master had attacked the Tower with a load of giant mutant lobster creatures.

'I am Ocean Master! I demand that you come out and face me!' Ocean Master yelled as he blasted the sky with a beam of energy from his trident.

'Didn't your mother ever tell you to say please?' Aqualad quipped as he ran out of the Tower with Dolphin close behind him.

'I have not been sent to deal with you, child.' Ocean Master sneered down from his place atop one of his lobster creatures. 'I am here for the girl.'

Aqualad narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He recognised something about Ocean Master.

'Uncle Orm...?' Aqualad frowned slightly. 'Is that you?'

'My name is Ocean Master now!' Ocean Master retorted. 'You should do well to remember it!'

Aqualad suddenly doubled over in a fit of laughter.

'_BWA-HA-HAAAA! _You should see what you look like! _Hee-hee. _You look like a complete tool! _A-heh. _Just wait until I tell Arthur!'

'_SILENCE!_'

Ocean Master blasted Aqualad with his energy trident.

'_GARTH!_' Dolphin screamed in horror. 'You monster! You'll pay for that!'

Ocean Master just laughed out loud at his opponent's threats.

'What could you possibly do to hurt me, girl?' Ocean Master snorted. 'I can control the very ocean itself!'

'I think you're forgetting who my mother is, Orm...' Dolphin growled, her eyes starting to glow ominously. 'Now I'm going to show you what it's like to find yourself up against a true Mistress of the Sea...!'

* * *

**The Theatre-**

The rest of Titans East, alongside Mr Miracle and Barda, were just mopping up the remaining Female Furies.

Stompa's super-strength proved useless against CM3's strength of Hercules and Jade's green energy powers.

'And i thought the Female Furies were supposed to be all kinds of badass.' Jade smirked as she poked Stompa's unconscious form with the tip of her boot. 'What do you say we take the old bag on, Freddy?'

'It looks like Barda's already taken care of Granny Goodness.' Captain Marvel Junior jerked his thumb in the direction of the defeated Granny Goodness. Barda had wrapped a metal beam around the old woman, subduing her. Mr Miracle had even confiscated Granny's Mother Box to make sure that she couldn't teleport herself away.

'Well, it looks like it's the Slab for these guys.' Donna nodded as she surveyed the defeated Furies. 'It was great working with you, Mr Free.'

Mr Miracle nodded in reply.

'Likewise... Wonder Girl.'

'Oh, I'm not Wonder Girl.' Donna shook her head. 'Just call me Donna.'

'Do you not have a secret identity?' Barda blinked in a puzzled manner. 'I thought most of Earth's heroes did.'

'I never have been good at keeping secrets, I guess.' Donna shrugged. 'It's a pity that we never got to see the end of that trick.'

Mr Miracle rifled around in his pocket and pulled out a small hi-tech-looking box.

'You and your friends did such a grand job of helping us with Granny and the Furies that I think you deserve a reward...'

'Scott...' Barda whispered into her husband's ear. 'Are you sure this is wise?'

'Of course I am, dear.' Mr Miracle whispered back. 'I'm sure that we can trust these young heroes.'

'Is that what I think it is?' Speedy piped up.

'Indeed it is.' Mr Miracle nodded. 'Your very own Mother Box.'

'Ooh. It's so shiny...' Donna's eyes lit up. 'Diana will be _so_ jealous! All she has is her unbreakable lasso and her dumb armour.'

'Just... try to be careful.' Mr Miracle warned the young Amazon. 'If you misuse the Mother Box, there is no telling what may happen. You may even end up transporting yourself to Apokalips.'

Donna's happy smile soon faded.

'Perhaps I'll just use it as a paperweight.'

* * *

**Back at the Tower-**

Aqualad woke up with a groan. The sight that met him was one that he would never thought that he would see. Dolphin was going medieval on Ocean Master. She had torn off one of the lobster creature's arms and was swinging it around like some kind of sword. Ocean Master, on the other hand, had shown himself to be a coward and was cowering like a well... coward.

Unseen by the pair, Aqualad crept forward on his hands and knees and picked up the energy trident that Ocean Master had dropped during the fight. Now it was time for some payback!

'Dolphin! Get down!'

Dolphin didn't bother do ask how Garth had recovered, she just dove out of the way as he opened fire with the energy trident, nailing Ocean Master right in the chest and knocking him into the water.

'Heh. Some Ocean Master he was.' Aqualad snorted in derision.

'Oh Garth, thank Neptune you're okay!' Dolphin cried as she ran up to Aqualad and gave him a great big hug. 'I thought I'd lost you then!'

'I guess I'm just too stubborn to die.' Aqualad chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Dolphin and hugged her back.

Dolphin buried her face into Aqualad's chest with a sob.

'Oh Garth, I'm sorry I've caused you all this trouble. First Black Manta attacks us at the pier, now this... I should never have come here.'

'Hey, there's no need to talk like that.' Aqualad comforted his friend. 'If you never came here, I wouldn't have found the most beautiful girl in all of the seven Seas.'

Dolphin looked up at Garth and wiped her tears away with a hand.

'Do you... do you really mean that?' Dolphin smiled through her tears. 'Do you really think I'm beautiful?'

'I've never been so sure of anything.' Garth reassured her.

'Oh, Garth...' Dolphin tightened her grip on the young Atlantean and planted a loving kiss on his lips. 'I just know that everything will turn out okay now that I'm with you.'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Return to Themyscira**

_Hippolyta calls Donna back home to Paradise Island. The rest of Titans East tag along as well. Unfortunately, a horse riding accident and a hoard of hungry harpies will make the visit a short one..._

* * *

**Author's Notes-**

**(1)- **_Granny Goodness kidnapped Oberon in the JLU episode '_The Ties That Bind._'_


	8. Return to Themyscira: Part 1

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 8: Return to Themyscira**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**R-Man's Random Fact- **_My favourite ice-cream flavour is mint chocolate chip._

* * *

**Titans East Tower-**

It was morning time in the home of Titans East. The young Amazon known as Donna Troy was going about her usual morning ritual. Donna had already selected the day's clothes before having a shower. She was now brushing her teeth.

Donna spat toothpaste into the sink and swilled her toothbrush under the tap to wash off any excess.

When Donna went to put her toothbrush back in the cabinet, she saw an image in the cabinet's mirrored door that made her jump back with a yell.

'Waah!'

The blonde figure just smiled back at Donna. It was Hippolyta, Donna's mother, and the Queen of the Amazons.

'I apologise for the intrusion, Donna.' Hippolyta explained. 'But I have a request for you. You are to return to Themyscira straight away. Diana will be there soon to bring you home.'

'But mother...' Donna began. 'Why now? Why are you telling me to come back to Themyscira as soon as I have found my place here? Steel City is my home now.'

'I merely wish to see my youngest daughter.' Hippolyta continued. 'Would you begrudge your mother that?'

'I guess not...' Donna sighed heavily. 'I'll get ready straight away.'

'Menalippe, the Oracle, has told me that you have shown an interest in a young archer over there in Patriarch's World. You may bring him along with you.'

'But what happened to the no man shall step foot upon Paradise Island rule?' Donna queried. 'The Gods decreed that no man was allowed on Themyscira.'

'The Godsdecreed that representatives from Patriarch's World may visit Themyscira. The reason why I allowed Diana to stay in Patriarch's World was to show men the Amazon way of life. How better to show them that than allowing representatives from Patriarch's World to visit our home?'

'That must be a pretty controversial decision.' Donna stated. 'How do Artemis and the Bana-Midghdal feel about it?'

'There has already been a vote on the matter.' Hippolyta explained. 'If Artemis and her band of Amazons do not like my decision, then it is their problem.'

'I guess I can't argue with that.' Donna nodded in understanding. 'Just give me a little while to get ready and I'll be up on the roof waiting for Diana.'

'Farewell, my daughter.' Hippolyta smiled as he image began to fade away. 'I look forward to seeing you soon...'

* * *

**Later-**

Donna was now onboard her sister's invisible jet as it flew all the way to Themyscira. Speedy had been more than happy to escort Donna on a trip home. The young archer was a little nervous about meeting Donna's mother though. How would Hippolyta react when she met him? Would the Queen of the Amazons approve of her youngest daughter's choice of consort?

Speedy curled up tight in his seat. He had never been in Wonder Woman's invisible jet before, and, to be honest, being a passenger was a little disconcerting. Especially when you could see the ground whizzing past many metres below you. Batman however, seemed to have adjusted well. It was almost as if nothing scared the Dark Knight Detective.

Donna reached over and gave the nervous Speedy a gentle squeeze on the knee.

'Try not to worry so much, Roy.' Donna reassured her friend and teammate with a gentle smile. 'There is really nothing to worry about. See?'

Donna then proceeded in stomping her foot on the floor of the invisible jet.

'Don't do that!' Roy hissed in a scared tone. 'Keeping myself from freaking out is hard enough without you making it worse!'

'Aww, poor baby.' Donna cooed sweetly as she squeezed Roy's cheek. 'You're so cute when you're afraid of heights.'

'I am _not_ afraid of heights!' Roy retorted. 'It's this... invisible plane! It's weird!'

'I don't think so.' Diana peered back from the pilot's seat. 'I find that watching the ground below to be quite comforting.'

'Just keep your eyes on the sky, would you?' Roy shot back. 'I don't want to end up dunked in the sea or anything!'

'You should really learn to calm yourself. Speedy.' Diana stated sagely. 'There is nothing to worry about. Not to sound too conceited, but I am a very able pilot. It is very unlikely that we will crash.'

'The invisible jet is alive, y'see?' Donna pointed out. 'It's made out of a shard of this shapeshifting alien being called the Wonderdome.'

'That's all well and good...' Roy sighed heavily. 'But I would have preferred it if you let me come along in the T-Jet.'

'Where would the fun in that be?' Donna smirked. 'We wouldn't have been able to see you freaking out then, would we?'

* * *

**Themyscira-**

Fortunately for Roy, the flight had gone off without a hitch. The young archer was presently standing outside the invisible jet while he and the others waited for Hippolyta to greet them.

'Is your mother always this late?' Roy muttered. 'Or do the Amazons have the concept of being fashionably late?'

'Just be patient, Roy.' Donna smiled comfortingly. 'Hippolyta will be here soon.'

Sure enough, the Queen of Amazons soon made her appearance amongst an entourage of her most trusted advisors. There was Phillipus: the dark-skinned captain of the Royal Guard, Menalippe: the oracle, Io: the blacksmith, and Eobea: the healer.

'Greetings daughters.' Hippolyta held her arms wide. 'Come, embrace your mother.'

Diana and Donna both did as they were told and grabbed their mother in a big hug.

'It has been such a long time since I talked to you last. You must tell me of all your adventures in Patriarch's World. Come, Venelia and the others have laid on quite the feast.'

'But mother, what about Roy?' Donna asked, indicating the nervous archer with a jerk of her thumb.

'Oh, yes. How rude of me.' Hippolyta nodded. 'Hera, forgive me. I did not mean to ignore you so. I was just so overjoyed see see my beloved daughters again that I momentarily forgot that we had guests. Please, will you not join us?'

'It would be an honour, your Highness.' Bruce bowed slightly.

'Yeah, what he said.' Roy nodded.

The young archer and the Dark Knight both stepped in behind the procession as they headed towards the Royal Quarters.

* * *

**The Royal Banqueting Hall-**

It was now time for the banquet. Diana and Donna had changed into simple white robes. Both siblings had their hair piled atop their head, very much like their mother. One could hardly tell them apart.

Roy and Bruce elected to stay in their usual uniforms, however. It was doubtful that the Amazons had any suitable clothes for men anyway. Besides, Bruce often spent long periods in his Batman uniform anyway, so it didn't really bother him.

The excited chatter around them quietened as Hippolyta called for attention.

'My sister Amazons, before we start upon this divine banquet that has been set before us, I would like to thank Hera for the safe return of Diana and Donna.'

'Hera be praised!' The other Amazons raised their goblets of wine in a toast.

'I would also like to welcome their companions to Themyscira. It has been such a long time since we last allowed men to set foot upon our island. I realise that it was a controversial decision, but my advisors and I have decided to allow a select few representatives from Patriarch's World to visit Themyscira, to observe the Amazons way of life and learn our ways. As part of this cultural exchange, I have decided to visit Patriarch's World myself...'

Donna spat out her wine in surprise.

'_W-w-what?_'

Diana just stared at her mother open-mouthed.

'Well, I didn't see that coming.' Roy commented.

Bruce nodded in agreement.

'Diana won't like this one bit. She's more protective of Boston than I am of Gotham City. And that is saying something!'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Return to Themyscira- Part 2**

_Say what? Hippolyta is going to pay a visit to Man's World? What possessed her to make such a decision? What do Donna and Diana think of their mother's decision? Tune in next time to find out..._


	9. Return to Themyscira: Part 2

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 9: Return to Themyscira- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer-** _All familiar characters belong to DC._

**&&&&&**

**Themyscira-**

Donna and Diana both gaped at their mother. Had they heard her right? Did Hippolyta really want to come visit Patriarch's World?

'I think I might have gone a little deaf...' Donna mumbled as she stuck a finger in her ear and jiggled it about. 'I thought you said that you wanted to come move in with us.'

'That is because I do want to come and visit you, Donna.' Hippolyta explained calmly. 'Why, is that a surprise?'

'A little bit...' Donna scratched the back of her neck. 'It's just... why? Why do you want to come visit Patriarch's World?'

'As I said, as a cultural exchange.' Hippolyta continued to explain. 'The Amazons have kept themselves apart from the rest of the world for too long. It is about time that we started to share our views with Patriarch's World.'

'Are you sure that it's wise to let just anybody traipse all over Themyscira?' Diana asked concernedly.

'Not just anybody will be granted access.' Hippolyta answered. 'We will start by allowing various world leaders so visit. Then we will allow representatives from various universities around the world to visit.'

'Who will take your place as ruler while you're off in Patriarch's World?' Donna inquired, crossing her arms.

'I have discussed this with Phillipus.' Hippolyta responded. 'She would be happy to take charge in my stead.'

'Then I don't see what we can say to stop you.' Diana sighed. 'I just hope that nothing bad happens while you are living with us. Patriarch's World can be a very violent place.'

'Which is precisely why I decided to teach them the way of the Amazons myself.' Hippolyta smiled. 'Now, finish your food, we have a very busy day ahead of us tomorrow.'

**&&&&&**

**Later that night-**

Apollo, the God of the Sun, had pulled the Sun down below the horizon with his golden chariot, and all was peaceful in the land of the Amazons. Roy Harper was just about ready for bed. The young archer was just about to strip down to his skivvies when he heard a knock on the door.

'Uh, just a sec, don't come in. I'm not decent.'

The door opened, revealing Donna dressed in a simple white robe that clung to her like a second skin.

'You did say to come in, right?'

Roy yelled out in surprise and attempted to cover himself, but ended up getting his feet tangled in the clothes that were strewn about the floor.

_'Waah!'_

Roy flailed about comically before falling flat on his face, his backside sticking up in the air.

'Mmm, now there's a sight that I'd never thought I'd see.' Donna smirked as she looked the fallen archer over.

'Gee, thanks for your help.' Roy muttered as he picked up his clothes and covered himself up. 'What did you want anyway?'

Donna put her hands on her hips with a frown.

'Aren't you even going to say anything about my robe?' The put out Amazon smiled as she did a twirl. 'Can't you see how the moonlight illuminates my female frame? Normal men would appreciate me.'

'I do appreciate you...' Roy smiled nervously. 'It's just... I'm not used to women coming on to me like that.'

'Oh, I somehow doubt that.' Donna laughed. 'A hottie like you must be beating off sexy chicks with a ten foot barge pole.'

'Unfortunately, no.' Roy sighed. 'Most girls think that I'm gay. Besides, I'm used to chasing the skirt, not the skirt chasing me.'

'Most probably something to do with the snug tights.' Donna suggested. 'And don't you think that you're getting a little old to be called Speedy?'

'Are you here to hit on me, or insult me?' Roy frowned.

'Can't I do both?' Donna continued to tease him, grinning sweetly.

Roy gave the young Amazon a withering glare.

'Does your sister know that you're such a sarcastic pain in the butt?'

Donna smooshed herself up against Roy with a seductive grin.

'Oh Roy, I do so love it when you talk dirty...'

'Uh, Donna... That wasn't supposed to be talking dirt-whoa!'

Roy yelped in surprise as Donna pushed him down onto the bed.

'D-Donna... What are you...?'

'Oh, I think you can figure that out for yourself.' Donna grinned seductively as she straddled Roy's waist.

Roy gulped nervously.

'But... but what if your sister finds out?'

Donna leant down towards Roy, her long raven locks falling in the young archer's face.

'I think Diana's a little busy with her own little Dark Knight.' Donna whispered huskily. 'Now, are you going to be a good little boy and keep quiet, or will I have to gag you?'

'...I'll be good.' Roy squeaked timidly.

Donna leant even closer, her lips mere millimetres away from Roy's.

'Good boy. Now, let Auntie Donna take good care of you...'

**&&&&&**

**The next morning-**

The great God Apollo had ridden his golden chariot back over the horizon, bringing morning forth once more. Diana, Hippolyta, and Bruce had sat down for the typical Amazon breakfast of fruit and water. Donna and Roy weren't up yet.

'I wonder where Donna has gotten to.' Diana thought out loud. 'She is usually the first one up when food is involved.'

Hippolyta smiled knowingly.

'Let Donna be.' The Queen of the Amazons smiled to herself. 'Donna never liked mornings.'

'Good morning, everybody!' Donna practically sang as she approached the table. 'It is such a beautiful morning, don't you think?'

Diana looked her younger sister over. Donna seemed unusually chipper.

'Donna, are you feeling quite okay?' Diana queried, concern lacing her words. 'You're never this happy in the mornings.'

'I'm fine, thank you Diana.' Donna grinned as she gave her older sister a big hug. 'Really, there's nothing to be worried about.'

'Ow. Ow. Ow.'

The quartet turned as Roy slowly limped towards the table.

'Speedy, what happened?' Diana gasped in shock as she rushed to the young archer's aid.

Roy looked towards Donna, who was barely restraining her laughter.

'I... fell.' Roy offered lamely. 'I was getting out of bed and I... fell.'

'Quick. We must get you to the healers!' Diana exclaimed.

'No!' Roy replied a little too quickly. 'I mean... No, I'm okay. It's nothing to worry about. I'll be fine in a minute.'

Diana frowned at that. She wasn't convinced that all was well. But she let the matter lie.

Roy took a seat with the group and started his breakfast.

Donna was busily talking to Hippolyta, planning the Queen's upcoming visit to Boston. Unfortunately for poor old Roy, the young Amazon's hand had strayed to his knee. Roy spat out his breakfast in surpise.

'I have to go!' Roy exclaimed as he jumped up and headed back towards the Royal Chambers.

'Whatever has gotten into him?' Diana frowned in confusion.

'Diana, surely you must be able to see what si going on.' Hippolyta smiled slightly.

'It seems that your sister and Speedy were doing a little more than sleeping last night.' Bruce explained for Diana's benefit.

Diana's mouth formed a small 'O' shape as she realised what was going on.

'Oh, my Gods...'

The older Amazon princess then turned to her sister.

'Donna, I think we need to have a little talk...'

**TBC...**

**&&&&&**

**Next: Garthy-Poo**

_The rest of Titans East haven't just been sitting around doing nothing while Donna and Roy were doing their thing in Themyscira. They had to face one of the Titans' most feared villains. Slade? Trigon? The Brotherhood of Evil? No, no, and no. It's Kitten!_


	10. Garthy Poo

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 10: Garthy-Poo**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Steel City-**

It had been a quiet few days for Titans East. Aqualad, Dolphin, Jade, and Captain Marvel Junior were left in the Tower while Donna took Speedy over to Themyscira, the home of the Amazons.

The young heroes would have enjoyed a quiet moment without having to fight the seemingly endless stream of villains that they invariably seemed to come up against. But even the laziest superhero could only take so much time sitting around doing nothing. The members of Titans East were starting to get a little stir-crazy.

'Neptune's beard!' Aqualad threw his arms up in exasperation. 'I can't sit here any more! I have to get out there!'

'But there's nothing to do, Garth.' Dolphin told her teammate. 'There hasn't been any crime to fight since Donna left with Roy.'

'It doesn't have to be a supervillain or anything...' Aqualad continued. 'I'd be happy to foil a mugging or something. I'd even make do with some loser robbing a drugstore. Somebody like, oh, I don't know... Dr Light!'

_'TITANS EAST!_'

Aqualad jumped up at the sudden interruption, falling over the back of the couch.

'What in the...?'

The young Atlantean turned to see a blonde young woman leering back at him from the TV screen.

'Who... what... huh?'

'Titans East...' The young woman continued. 'It's such a pleasure to see you again.'

'Do we know her?' Jade asked, jerking her thumb towards the TV.

'We've met...' Aqualad remembered. 'During The Brotherhood of Evil thing a few years back. Her name's Kitten.'

'I think I've heard of her...' Captain Marvel Junior tapped his chin in thought. 'Didn't she used to have a boyfriend with a spider for a head?'

'Excuse me...?' Kitten tried to attract the young heroes' attention.

'There's no need to really be afraid of her.' Aqualad explained. 'Kitten isn't much of a threat. She's mostly harmless.'

'Mostly harmless?' Kitten spluttered in indignation. _'Mostly **harmless?** _I'll show _you_ who's mostly harmless!'

And with that, Kitten's image disappeared from the TV screen as suddenly as it had appeared.

'What, isn't she going to tell us her evil, evil plan?' Captain Marvel Junior wondered out loud. 'Man, villains don't show proper etiquette nowadays, do they?'

* * *

**Downtown-**

Kitten would show Titans East. Oh yes, she would show them all! Nobody, but _nobody_ called her _mostly harmless! _She had an army of giant genetically mutated moths at her command, and she wasn't afraid to use them!

'I'll show those stupid Titans...' Kitten muttered to herself as she watched her pets start to devour the city below her. 'Nobody treats me like some common criminal! Do I look like Control Freak? I've got better fashion sense for one! And I don't look like a reject from a Star Trek convention!'

'Well, that's a matter of opinion, isn't it?'

Kitten spun around to see Titans East hovering in front of her. Captain Marvel Junior and Jade were flying by their own means while the green-skinned young woman was supporting Aqualad and Dolphin with a platform of luminous green energy.

'Don't you think that this is kind ironic?' Aqualad smirked. 'Kitten is stuck somewhere high, and we have to save her.'

'I don't need saving from anybody, Garthy-Poo.' Kitten shot back. 'You'll be the ones that'll need rescuing once my pets have finished with you!'

'Oh yes, the giant moth things.' Jade nodded in understanding. 'I kind of doubt that we'll have too much trouble with them.'

'Jade, you, Freddy, and Dolphin can take care of the moths. Kitten's mine.' Aqualad instructed the others.

'Don't do anything I wouldn't, buddy.' Captain Marvel Junior smirked as he flew down to the ground.

Once the rest of Titans East had gone, Kitten turned back to regard Aqualad. A predatory smile started to spread on the young woman's face.

'Oh, Garthy-Poo!' Kitten grabbed the young Atlantean in a great big hug. 'I never wanted to be a supervillain, you know! I wanted to be...'

'A lumberjack?' Aqualad quipped.

Kitten let go of Aqualad and shot him a withering glare.

'Do you mind? I'm trying to pour my heart out here.'

'Can you at least keep it quick?' Aqualad sighed. 'I've got better things to do. Like have emergency rectal surgery.'

Kitten grabbed Aqualad in a great big hug again.

'I was forced into this life, you know!' Kitten sobbed. 'My daddy made me do it! I never wanted to be a bad girl!

Aqualad rolled his eyes with a heavy sigh.

'Do these kind of dramatics usually work?' The young Atlantean groaned tiredly.

'What... what do you mean?' Kitten blinked in confusion.

'You're not fooling anybody.' Aqualad crossed his arms over his chest. 'What kind of gullible idiot do you think I am?'

Kitten's grief-stricken expression soon changed to one of anger.

'You're... dumping _me?_ Nobody dumps me! _Nobody!_'

'We weren't even going out, you big psycho!' Aqualad pointed out. 'We'd have to be going out if I was going to dump you!'

Kitten started to shake with anger.

'Oh, you're gonna regret saying that!' The blonde villainess hissed. 'I'm gonna feed you to my pets! You'll be torn to shreds!'

'Oh, cool off!' Aqualad retorted.

'What...?' Kitten looked down at her feet as the roof she was sanding on started to rumble. A torrent of water burst out of the roof as Aqualad used his power over water to drench the young villainess with water from the building's pipes.

'Ahhh! I'm soaked!' Kitten shrieked in rage. 'Do you have any idea how much this dress cost me? It cost more than you'd ever earn in your whole life!'

Kitten lashed out at Aqualad, aiming to gauge out his eyes with her fingernails.

'Yow! Watch it! You could have somebody's eye out with those things!' Aqualad quipped as he ducked out of the way. Kitten's momentum, coupled with the fact that she was soaked to her skin, caused the young villainess to skid across the roof. Luckily, Aqualad grabbed Kitten's hand just before she fell off the roof.

'Ahh! Don't let me go!' Kitten begged. 'Don't let me go!'

'Call off your pets.' Aqualad told her.

'Okay, okay...' Kitten grumbled. 'I'll call them off. Just... don't drop me, okay?'

Aqualad pulled Kitten back up to the relative safety of the roof. Kitten pulled out the little device that controlled the mutant moths and sent them back home.

'I'll give you a kiss if you let me go.' Kitten smiled cheekily.

'No chance.' Aqualad shook his head, 'Besides, I'm already spoken for.'

'Typical.' Kitten tutted, shaking her head. 'The handsome ones are always gay.'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Can You Keep A Secret?**

_Titans East encounter a mysterious ghost girl on a camping trip in the woods. What does the girl have to do with the re-emergence of Project Cadmus? Tune in next time to find out..._


	11. Can You Keep A Secret?: Part 1

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 11: Can You Keep A Secret?- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Quote of the day-** _'You will bow down before me, Jor-El! First you and then one day, your heirs!'_**_-_ General Zod (Superman II)**

* * *

**The woods outside Steel City-**

It was approaching nightfall in the woods nearby Steel City, home of the East Coast branch of the Teen Titans. A squad of soldiers with hi-tech-looking body armour and weapons were making their way through the woods.

_'Squad Leader, state your position!_' A tinny voice exclaimed through the lead soldier's walkie-talkie. _'Have you located the subject?'_

'Negative.' The squad leader responded. 'But our sensors tell us that we are near to the subject's position.'

'Uh, sir...?' One of the other soldiers piped up. 'I think that we're a little more than close to her position...'

'Yaaaah! Get it off me!' Another soldier screamed as tendrils of some kind of mist-like substance began to wrap itself around his legs.

'Open fire!' The squad leader commanded. '_Open fire!_'

The soldiers all opened fire on the misty shroud that appeared out of the forest, their bullets passing harmlessly through the creature's gaseous form.

'_That wasn't nice..._' The creature commented. '_I only want to be left alone. Why won't you leave me alone?_'

The squad leader tried to scream, but his cries were silenced as the creature's misty tendrils started to coalesce around him.

* * *

**A short time later-**

A van made its way up a hill path running along the hillside. The passenger inside the van were no ordinary campers, however. They were Titans East!

Donna Troy drummed her fingers on the armrest excitedly. The young Amazon had never been camping before. Sure, she had snuck off to the woods back in Themyscira, but this was something completely different. Speedy was driving, Aqualad was staring out at a window, Dolphin was reading a book, Jade was playing a video game, and Freddy Freeman was listening to Elvis, his favorite musician, through headphones. The young heroes were all clad in civilian clothing.

'Somebody's excited.' Jade grinned, looking up from her game. 'Looking forward to the pleasures of having your wicked way with Roy in a tent?'

'Maybe...' Donna smirked back at the green-skinned young heroine.

Aqualad leant over to whisper in Speedy's ear.

'That's some woman you've got there, Roy.' The young Atlantean hero teased. 'Are all the Amazons like that?'

'Dude, shut up!' Speedy retorted. 'I'm trying to drive!'

Then Aqualad started to sing.

'Donna and Roy, up a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N...'

Dolphin punched Aqualad on the arm and shot him a warning glare.

'Garth, stop that!' The silver-haired young woman hissed at her boyfriend. 'If you keep on teasing Roy like that, we're going to end up in a ditch or soemthing!'

'Oh, as _if!' _Aqualad snorted in derision. 'We are perfectly safe...'

In the driver's seat, Roy grinned evilly as an idea struck him. The young archer yanked the steering wheel, making the van take a sharp left. Everybody yelled out in surprise as the van's sudden movement.

Aqualad toppled over and hit his head against the side window.

'Ow, dammit!'

'Oh yeah, _real_ mature, Roy.' Donna rolled her eyes.

Roy just smirked back at the young Amazon.

'It shut him up, didn't it?'

* * *

**Later-**

The tents had all been set up around a soon-to-be-lit campfire. Donna was sharing a tent with Roy, while Garth was sharing with Dolphin. Jenny and Freddy had a tent each. The young heroes were presently sitting around the campfire as Roy tried to start the fire.

'I can't see why you don't just use one of your incendiary arrows.' Freddy pointed out as he passed around a bag of marshmallows so the gang could start roasting them. 'Now, where did I put the chocolate and graham crackers?'

'And where is the fun in that?' Roy countered, waving a pointed stick in the direction of the young member of the Marvel Family.

'It would save us a lot of time.' Donna sighed as she popped a marshmallow in her mouth. 'Do you expect us to freeze our backsides off here?'

'I could always use my powers to start the fire.' Jenny offered. 'That's if you don't mind losing the use of your eyebrows for a while...'

'We could have brought a lighter or a box of matches...' Garth complained. 'But _noooo_, you just _had_ to go with the _traditional _way. Rubbing two sticks together? **Please!'**

'What do _you _know about fire, Fish Sticks?' Roy retorted. 'Your thing is water! Not fire! _Water!'_

'Oh, boy. Here we go...' Dolphin groaned into her hands. 'If you boys are going to start arguing like little children, then I'm going for a walk. Hopefully, you would have started the fire by then...' The silver-haired young woman got up and started to walk away into the woods.

'Be careful, Dolphin!' Jade warned after her.

* * *

**Soon-**

Dolphin made her way into a nearby clearing. The silver-haired young woman frowned at her surroundings. there were tombstones all over the place. She must have found her way into a cemetery somehow.

Dolphin was about to leave when she heard the sound of somebody sobbing.

'Hello? Is anybody there?'

The sound of sobbing stopped. Dolphin shifted her feet nervously as misty wisps started to wind around her legs.

_'I want to be alone. Just leave me alone!'_

Dolphin backed away nervously as she watched a monstrous shape grow out of the smoke.

'I-I-I don't mean you any harm...' Dolphin reassured the creature, holding her hands out to show that she was unarmed. 'I didn't even know that anybody was here. I am your friend...'

The mist creature cocked its head in curiosity as it regarded the young woman standing before it.

Dolphin watched as the mist creature began to shrink, slowly beginning to form the shape of a young human girl.

_'Friend?' _The mist girl blinked sceptically. _'Are you sure you don't want to hurt me? Like the other people?'_

'What other people?' A puzzled Dolphin asked. 'Who wants to hurt you? You can tell me. I'm in-!'

Unfortunately, Dolphin never got her answer. She yelled out in pain as a bolt of electricity hit her in the back.

The mist girl spun around and saw a squad of soldiers make their way into the clearing.

'This is Squad Leader to Command, we have located the subject!'

_'That was my friend!' _The mist girl yelled in anger as she took her monstrous form again. _'You hurt my friend!'_

The soldier opened fire with bolts of electricity as the mist creature leapt forward to attack.

* * *

**Back at the campsite-**

The rest of Titans East waited impatiently for Dolphin to return. Roy had finally started up the campfire. Well, Donna was the one who actually started the campfire. She ended up using one of Roy's incendiary arrows, much to the young archer's consternation.

'I'm fed up of waiting!' Donna grumbled as she got up to her feet. 'I'm going to look for her!'

'Then that leaves more marshmallows for me!' Roy retorted as he tried to wipe melted marshmallow off his fingers.

'You're coming with me!' Donna grabbed Roy by the collar and yanked him up to his feet.

'Aww, but Donna...' Roy sulked. 'I was just getting comfortable...'

'Then you can get comfortable later.' Donna pointed out. 'Besides, you're not going to let a young woman like me walk about in the big scary woods, are you? Why, I could be set upon...'

'But Donna, you're an Amazon.' Freddy reminded. 'Aren't you trained in combat and stuff? I think you can handle _MMPH_!' Aqualad quickly covered Freddy's mouth with his hand to quiet him.

'You're not going to leave me in peace unless I come with you, are you?' Roy sighed.

'You know it.' Donna grinned as she gave the young archer a gentle pat on the back. 'If you don't fancy that, we could always find somewhere to make out...'

That was all the incentive that Roy needed! The young archer grabbed his Amazon companion's hand and ran off towards the bushes.

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Can You Keep A Secret- Part 2**

_Will Donna and Roy be able to rescue Dolphin from the clutches of the Cadmus soldiers? Tune in next time to find out..._


	12. Can You Keep A Secret?: Part 2

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 12: Can You Keep A Secret?- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Quote of the day- **_Krrrrryptonite!_'- **Lex Luthor (Superman Returns)**

* * *

**The woods outside Steel City-**

Up above the woods around Steel City, the two young heroes known as Speedy and Wonder Girl were searching for one of their teammates, the young Atlantean girl known only as Dolphin. Growing tired of Speedy and Aqualad's bickering, the silver-haired young heroine had gone off for a walk, and had not returned.

Roy surveyed the woods below him as Donna carried him along.

'I don't see why _I'm_ the one that has to do the looking...' Roy complained. 'It's not as if I have x-ray or telescopic vision or anything.'

'I have to keep my eyes forward when I'm flying.' Donna pointed out. 'Unless you want to end up getting caught up in the engine of a low-flying airplane.'

'Shutting up.' Roy chuckled nervously as he returned his attention to the woods below. Then the young archer noticed something unusual.

'It's a little late for a military convoy, don't you think?' Roy noticed, pointing down to a convoy of trucks that were passing along a road below them.

'I have no idea, Roy.' Donna shrugged. 'I don't understand how your foolish military works in Patriarch's World.'

Roy looked at his wrist-mounted tracking device. Everybody o the team had one. The device helped the Titans to locate their teammates if any of them became separated.

'Hunh. The tracking signal from Dolphin's communicator is coming from one of those trucks down below us.' Roy explained. 'It looks like our little Atlantean has gotten herself into a little spot of bother.'

'Rescue mission?' Donna asked.

'Rescue mission.' Roy nodded. 'Donna, take us down.'

* * *

**Inside one of the trucks-**

A soldier sitting in the passenger seat in one of the military trucks that was carrying the Titan known as Dolphin and the mysterious mist girl looked over at the other soldier driving.

'Did'ja see that interview with Wonder Woman the other night?'

'No, I _didn't_ see the interview with Wonder Woman the other night.' The driver rolled his eyes. 'Because, unlike _some_ people, I was **working!'**

'I tell you, man...' Soldier 1 continued. 'I bet that Wonder Woman knows how to please a guy. Amazons are supposed to be good in bed, right?'

'You are a pig.' Soldier 2 shook his head. 'Why did I get lumbered with you, of all people? Why did Jackson have to call in sick?'

'Jackson's _always_ sick.' Soldier 1 shrugged. 'Anyway, what's wrong with working with me?'

'You keep on drooling over Wonder Woman, that's why!' Soldier 2 groaned. 'We're supposed to be fighting the metahumans, not hanging fake skinny pictures of them in our lockers!'

'That picture of Fire isn't fake!' Soldier 1 pointed out. 'I got it off her official website!'

'And there's another thing...' Soldier 2 held up a finger to illustrate a point. 'How can you tell that she's naked? She's covered in fire!'

Soldier 1 was about to reply when somebody, or something, tore off the roof of the cab. Donna Troy peeked inside the cab.

'Hi there.' Donna smiled sweetly as she hopped inside the cab. 'Would you mind pulling over? My companion and I would like to ask you a few questions...'

'Eat this, hero!' Soldier 1 hissed as he went for his gun.

Donna just backhanded the man, knocking him back in his seat.

'Tch. What is it with men and guns? Honestly, do you have to compensate for something?'

* * *

**Meanwhile-**

While Donna was taking control of the lead truck, Roy had dropped down onto the truck that was carrying Dolphin. Unfortunately, the young archer had come up against a little resistance in the form of a pair of soldiers that stubbornly refused to let him rescue his teammate.

'You guys must have a death wish, or something...' Roy smirked as he steadied his footing on the roof of the truck. 'Everybody knows that this fight is only going to end in pain. For you, anyway...'

'We'd like to see you try, kid.' One of the soldiers retorted.

'Normally we'd take you back to HQ with us.' The other soldier added his two cents. 'But you're not a metahuman, you're just a regular human.'

'Well, that's just mean.' Roy tutted. 'I guess we know who's going on Santa's naughty list.'

My Nasty went for his gun, but ended up being disarmed by an arrow to the hand, causing him to howl in pain.

'You know, I may be just a guy with arrows, but it looks like I'm kicking your butts.' Roy said as he clobbered Mr Nasty over the head with his bow. 'Being powerless doesn't mean that I can't beat the snot out of you guys. Just look at Batman. All he'd have to do is give you clowns _'The Look', _and you'd be crying like little baby men!'

Not Mr Nasty made the mistake of going for his gun, and ended up being kicked in the face, making him fall perilously close to the edge of the truck's roof.

'You guys really are too dumb to know when you're beaten, aren't you?' Roy snorted. 'Oh, and another thing? Duck!'

Roy flattened himself against the truck's roof as they passed underneath a bridge. The two soldiers weren't so lucky however, as they collided with the bridge and toppled off the roof of the truck.

* * *

**Inside the truck-**

Roy soon made his way into the truck's trailer. The sight that greeted him was quite a shock. Dolphin was unconscious and strapped to some kind of experimentation table.

'Oh, Dolphin. What have you gotten yourself in to?' Roy shook his head in sympathy as he tried to release his teammate.

'Nuts.' The red-haired archer groused as he tried to break off Dolphin's bonds, but to no avail. 'This is one time when super-strength would have come in handy.'

'_That won't work.'_

Roy spun around at the sound of the voice.

'What in the...?'

Then he saw it. In a large tube-like container, the young archer saw a mist-like substance flowing through it. It almost seemed like there was a girl's face in the mist.

'Who... What...?'

'_Please, release me and I can help you..._' The mist girl begged.

'How do I know that I can trust you?' Roy frowned, crossing his arms. 'How do I know that you're not some kind of experiment gone wrong that's out to eat my brain?'

'_Please, you just have to trust me._' The mist girl pleaded. '_If not, your friend is doomed. Cadmus wants her for her Atlantean DNA. I heard them talking.'_

Roy took a deep breath as he decided what to do. He hoped that he wouldn't live to regret this.

Roy took out an arrow with an armour-piercing point and drove it into the tube that was holding the mist girl. Slowly, but surely, a strange sand-coloured mist-like substance began to seep out of the cracks in the tube.

'_Thank you._' The mist girl smiled gratefully. '_You will not regret this._'

Roy watched on dumbstruck as the mist girl wafted over to where Dolphin was being held and easily snapped off the bonds around her wrists and ankles. The silver-haired girl began to fall off the table, but Roy was quick enough to catch her.

'Now, that is just showing off.' Roy quipped as he caught Dolphin. 'I don't suppose that you know a way out of this thing, do you?'

No sooner had Roy said that, then he was sent tumbling to the floor as the truck collided with something. The mist girl just hovered there, a curious expression on her face.

'_Are you and the silver-haired girl an item?_' The mist girl blinked in innocent curiosity, indicating the awkward position that Roy and Dolphin had landed in.

Roy let out a grunt as he hefted the unconscious Dolphin off him.

'No comment.'

* * *

**A short time later-**

The rest of Titans East had gathered around to clean up after Donna caused the lead truck to crash into a tree. Which in turn, caused the other trucks in the convoy to plough into that.

Dolphin had regained consciousness and was explaining what had happened.

'So you say that the Cadmus guys won't say a thing?' Aqualad inquired, indicating the soldiers that they had tied to a nearby tree. 'We don't know who they're working for?'

'Afraid not.' Donna shrugged apologetically. 'We can't get a word out of them.'

'And Donna can be pretty persuasive.' Roy added.

'What about the mist girl over here?' Jenny remembered, pointing at the strange translucent girl that Roy had liberated from one of the trucks. 'We can't just leave her here, can we? What if Cadmus comes back for her?'

'Then we'll have to take us back to the Tower with us.' Freddy suggested. 'She'll be safe there, right?'

'We always could do with more team members.' Roy nodded in agreement.

'Besides, I kind of like her.' Dolphin chipped in. 'It would seem kind of heartless of us if we just left her here.'

'Then we're agreed.' Roy nodded 'She stays with us.'

'But we don't know her name.' Aqualad pointed out. 'Dolphin, did you manage to find out her name?'

'Sorry, Garth.' Dolphin shook her head. 'If she even has a name, she isn't saying anything.'

'Then what do we call her then?'

'Well, she's going to be our little secret...' Donna explained. 'So, until she feels comfortable enouh to tell us her real name, let's call her Secret!'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: New Guy_s_**

_Titans East holds an open audition for new members. Plus: The return of Mas y Menos!_


	13. New Guys

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 13: New Guys**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Quote of the day- **_'And then, after I took control of the city, I required my likeness to be carved from solid cheese - in every home.'_**- Starfire (Revved Up)**

* * *

**Steel City Plaza Hotel-**

The foyer of the Steel City Plaza Hotel was a hive of activity. The whole place was full of people dressed in brightly-coloured costumes. Titans East was holding an open audition for new members, you see. Speedy and aqualad were sittingat a table interviewing prospective teammembers while Donna and Dolphin were getting coffee. Jade and Captain Marvel Junior were back in the Tower helping secret move in. People had come from all around the city to see whether they would be able to nab a place in the team of young heroes. Unfortunately, not all of the wannabe heroes were all that impressive. As a matter of fact, they sucked!

'Behold the might of the Condiment King!'

Speedy and Aqualad watched on dumbstruck as a spotty teen dressed in a Pizza Palace uniform jumped out of the crowd and pulled out two squeezy bottles from holsters handing by his hips. One was red, the other was yellow.

'Nothing can defeat the might of my Magnificent Mustard!' The Condiment King boasted as he gave the yellow bottle a squeeze, splattering mustard down Aqualad's front.

The Condiment King twirled the mustard bottle around before replacing it in its holster.

'So, does that mean that I'm in?' The guy grinned hopefully.

Speedy pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a pained sigh.

'Don't call us, we'll call you.' The young archer sighed heavily.

The Condiment King's shoulders fell at the rejection.

'But... I still have to show you the might of my Kingly Ketchup...'

'And we'll send you the laundry bill for my shirt.' Aqualad smiled with faux sweetness. 'That was the finest Atlantean silk, for Neptune's sake!'

'Dude, let it go...' Speedy tried to calm his friend. 'We've got important things to take care of. We can worry about your shirt later.'

* * *

**A short while later-**

Speedy and Aqualad had now been joined by Donna and Dolphin. The girls had just returned from a coffee and donut run. Auditioning would-be teammates was hungry work, and Roy would have gone mad if he didn't have coffee to calm his nerves. The wannabes were _that _bad!

The quartet of heroes weren't expecting much when the next applicant walked up to their table and donuts to fill his stomach. This time it was a young woman wearing a red swimsuit over a pink bodysuit. The woman also had a cape draped over her shoulders and pink domino mask over her eyes.

'Name...?' Roy asked nonchalantly, seriously starting to lose interest in the audition process.

'My name is the PMS Avenger!' The young woman snapped, surpising the Titans. 'Do you wanna make something of it?'

Roy bolted upright at the sound of the young woman's angry voice.

'I'm sorry...' The young archer blinked in confusion. 'What did you say your name was?'

The young woman just glared in response.

'What?' Roy asked innocently. 'What did I say?'

'Roy, do yourself a favour and grab a shovel before the hole you're digging yourself into gets any bigger.' Donna advised her friend.

'I can only work three days a month.' The young woman pointed out. 'Have any of you brainless misogynistic bastards got a problem with that?' She glared at the Titans again. Dolphin and Donna sighed and shook their heads in amazement.'

Nope.' Roy shook his head. 'No problem here.'

'We're all good.' Garth smiled sweetly.

* * *

**Later still-**

The four Titans had all but given up and were starting to pack up their stuff when a gust of wind knocked them back into their seats.

'_¡Más y Menos, sí podemos!_' Two familiar voiced chorused.

'Well, I'll be the son of a whale shark!' Garth grinned in recognition. 'Mas y Menos! What're you doing here? And why aren't you with Titans International?'

'We came to rejoin Titans east, _esse!_' Mas grinned eagerly.

'Wait...' Roy blinked in confusion. 'You're speaking in English? I thought you guys could only talk in Spanish!'

'They've obviously learnt English during their absence.' Dolphin pointed out. 'Although, it was pretty funny to hear them insult you in a language you didn't understand.'

'_Mírame! Soy Pelo Grande! A la orilla cede y adora mío pelo hermoso!' _**(1) **A snickeringMas y Menos both mocked the young archer.

'I hate you guys so much...' Roy glared at the twin speedsters. 'But welcome back onboard. Can we _please _go now? My butt hurts...'

'Umm, excuse me...?' A meek little voice called over from the entrance of the foyer... 'Am I too late to audition for Titans East?'

'No, come right in.' Donna smiled in greeting, waving in their guest. 'Just give us a few seconds to get our stuff sorted out and we'll be right with you.'

* * *

**One swift unpacking later-**

Titans East had unpacked their stuff, and had were talking to the new arrival. Mas y Menos had each pulled up chairs and had joined Roy and the others at the table.

The meek little voice had belonged to a green-skinned young woman with shoulder-length red hair, and was dressed in a costume eerily similar to that of the Martian Manhunter, but with a miniskirt.

'My name is M'gann M'orzz.' The young lady introduced herself. 'I am also known as Miss Martian. I can change the shape of my body. I have super-strength and I am a telepath.'

'Finally, an applicant that does _not _suck!' Roy held up his arms in a sign of gratitude. 'Thank you God! Hallelujah!" Donna giggled at Roy's outburst.

'Umm... one question.' Garth requested. 'No offence or anything, but... I thought J'onn J'onzz was the only Martian. What's your deal?'

Miss Martian looked down at her feet and bit her lip nervously.

'That is something that I do not wish to go into.' The young Martian explained. 'It brings up... painful memories.'

'Well, I don't see why we can't let you join the team.' Roy grinned. 'You can be our Starfire!'

'Say, you don't happen to have an unusual taste for mustard, do you?' Donna quipped.

* * *

**A little later-**

Mas y Menos weren't the only old friends to make an appearance at the auditions. Another such person was the Titan known only as Jericho. Roy and Garth had met the curly-haired blond guy during all that Brotherhood of Evil business a year or two back.

'It's a real pleasure to see you again, Jericho.' Roy smiled as he shook the guy's hand. 'You picked the right time to arrive, too. We were just about to pack up and head on home.'

Jericho signed something in response.

'What was the competition like?' Garth laughed. 'To tell you the truth, the pickings were pretty lame. Don't get me started on the Condiment King! Damn jerk ruined my shirt. And I love this shirt!'

Jericho smiled and signed something else.

'Oh, I wouldn't worry.' Roy laughed in response. 'It wasn't as if the shirt cost much.'

'Dude! Finest Atlantean silk!' Garth pointed out.

'There's no such thing.' Roy rolled his eyes. 'You got that shirt from the local thrift shop.'

'No I didn't...' Garth chuckled nervously, his eyes darting back-and-forth. 'I have no idea what you mean...'

**TBC...**

**

* * *

**

**Next: The New Titans East**

_Jericho and Miss Martian meet their new team members._

* * *

**Author's note-**

**(1)- '**_Look at me! I'm Big-Hair! Relax at the edge and adore my handsome hair!'_


	14. Truth, Justice, Pizza!

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 14: Truth, Justice, Pizza!**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Steel City-**

The sun slowly rose in the sky. It seemed that celestial bodies didn't like getting up in the mornings either. Not that the residents of a T-shaped tower built right into a cliffside cared about that.

'C'mon, Donna. Give me my belt back!' Roy Harper, the young archer known as Speedy, begged the Amazon laying in his bed, the sheets wrapped around herself.

'Why don't you come and get it, studly?' Donna Troy, the young Amazon challenged, a cheeky grin on her face. 'Come on, I dare you!'

'Donna, we don't have time for this...' Roy sighed as he tried to grab his belt, only for Donna to move it out of his reach. 'We're supposed to be showing our new members around, remember?'

'Let the newbies wait.' Donna retorted. 'My needs come first. Now, get your ever-lovely backside back in this bed. I'm a royal Amazon princess, I command you to obey me!'

Roy wasn't impressed. The young archer just dug into his drawer to get a spare belt.

'I bet Wonder Woman isn't this awkward in the morning...' Roy muttered to himself.

'What was that?' Donna demanded to know. 'Did you say something?'

Roy was about to make a reply when somebody phased through the door. It was Miss Martian.

'Aqualad is starting to get impatient...' The young Martian explained. 'He sent me to...'

'_Megan!_' Donna yelped in surprise as she grabbed the sheets around her.

Miss Martian then noticed that there was a naked Amazon sitting in the bed and a topless archer in the room with her.

'Oh my...' Megan blushed. 'I am _sooo_ sorry! I didn't mean to... Oh, gosh! I-I-I... I have to go!'

And with that, Megan made a hasty retreat. Donna and Roy both looked at each other.

'We _really_ have to get a sign.' Roy sighed. Donna nodded in agreement.

'Oh yeah.'

* * *

**A short while later-**

Thankfully, Megan's intrusion had put a damper on Donna's saucy intentions. The young Amazon and her bow-wielding companion had joined the rest of the team. Megan was keeping her distance from the pair. The young Martian was embarrassed beyond measure.

'I'd better go over and talk to her...' Donna suggested, looking at the young Martian sympathetically. 'Just look at the poor girl, she's mortified.'

'It serves her right for not knocking.' Roy sniffed dismissedly. 'I bet they used to have doors on Mars.'

'Roy! Don't be mean!' Donna admonished her boyfriend. 'Megan's new here. We have to be nice.'

'It's all right for you, Donna...' Roy grunted indignantly. 'Amazons don't have a problem with flaunting your bodies. In Man's World, we happen to be a bit more modest.'

'And that is your problem...' Donna explained. 'I'm sure everything would be much better if casual nudity was more acceptable.'

Roy just shook his head at that. Jericho walked up beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

'_Gah!_' Roy leapt forward with a yelp of surprise. 'Joey! Geez, man. What're you trying to do, give me a heart attack?'

Jericho smiled in embarrassment and signed an apology.

'It's okay, buddy...' Roy waved it off. 'I guess I'm just a little jumpy today.'

Jericho signed an inquiry to why Roy was jumpy today.

'Oh, it's just a little thing with Donna and me.' Roy told his mute teammate. 'Nothing to worry about, really.'

'Trouble with the _chica, _eh _esse?_' Mas laughed as he ran up with his brother. 'Can't you handle her or something?'

'It's not that I can't handle her...' Roy whispered. 'It's just... the girl has no decency at all!'

Mas y Menos knew exactly what Roy was talking about. They could still remember, quite fondly, when Donna walked out of the bedroom after just having a shower to answer the phone. She wasn't even wearing a towel!

'_Donna es muy bueno..._' The speedster twins sighed dreamily. Joey laughed and signed something in response.

'Oh, _si..._' Menos nodded in confirmation. 'Donna is as _bueno_ as her sister.'

'Will you guys stop it!' Roy hissed. 'Stop lusting after my girlfriend!'

'Who's lusting after who?' Donna asked as she walked up after talking to Megan.

'Nobody.' Roy answered, a little too quickly. 'Are we ready to go yet? Cuz I'm ready for pizza. Who wants pizza?' A suspicious frown spread across Donna's face.

'Are you okay, babe? You look kind of freaked out.'

'Never felt better.' Roy quickly responded as he took Donna's arm. 'Come on, we'll have to get going before all of the good tables are taken...'

Donna continued to frown at her boyfriend's weirdness.

'I know that you like pizza, but I never knew that you liked it _this_ much!'

* * *

**The Pizza Palace-**

Titans East were now gathered in their local pizza restaurant. Roy's sudden bout of insanity seemed to have disappeared for the moment.

'I think you guys'll really like this place...' Aqualad smiled as he rubbed his hands in anticipation. 'This place does the best pizza in town!'

'It's a pity that you can't join us, Secret...' Dolphin told the mist girl. 'Your... condition prevents you from eating, doesn't it?'

'It's okay.' Secret smiled sweetly. 'I never liked pizza all that much anyway.'

'I wish that they'd stop putting anchovies on their pizzas...' Aqualad sighed. 'It pains me to think how many of the little guys get eaten like that.'

'Not that it really matters...' Jade pointed out. 'Nobody here likes anchovies.'

'They make me come out in a rash.' Freddy Freeman, aka CM3, pointed out. 'It's... not a pretty sight.'

Jericho signed something in response. It seemed that the he was allergic to butterscotch.

'Well, I guess that means that the big bag of popcorn that we've got in the cupboard back home'll go to waste then.' Roy said.

Jericho then signed that the stuff in popcorn was okay, it wasn't real butterscotch. He was fine with imitation butterscotch, just not the real stuff.

'Well, this is all fascinating, but when is the pizza getting here?' Donna grumbled. 'We've already been here for half an hour!'

'Uh, Donna... we haven't even ordered yet.' Roy pointed out.

'Then hurry up and make the order, ya big goof!' Donna poked the young archer in the shoulder. 'I'm hungry, and when I get hungry, I get tetchy.'

'You won't like Donna when she's tetchy.' Jade quipped.

Roy decided that he had better do as Donna said, so he headed off to make the pizza order.

Megan held up a bright yellow plastic bottle.

'Donna, I have a question for you...'

'Sure, go ahead.' Donna waved the young Martian on.

'What is this... _mustard?'_ Megan blinked.

'It depends on who you ask.' Donna answered her teammates enquiries. 'For most of us, it's something that you'd put on a burger, but if you ask Starfire, she'd say that it was a delicious beverage.'

'Then mustard is not suitable as a beverage then?' Megan blinked again.

'Not really, no.' Donna shook her head. 'Starfire's the only one that drinks mustard.' A curious Megan squeezed the bottle, squirting some mustard onto her finger. The young Martian then tasted it.

'But it is so delicious...' Megan pointed out. 'It is not a solid, like cheese, and it is not totally liquid, like soda. It is a substance between states. It really is quite amazing.'

'Megan...' Aqualad responded 'It's _mustard!_'

'Oh, Garth, leave her alone.' Dolphin rolled her eyes. 'If Megan finds mustard amazing, then let her find mustard amazing. Or should I tell everybody about the time when you got lost in the clothes store?'

'You got lost in the lingerie section, didn't you?' Donna laughed. 'You were so involved in ogling women's under-things that you lost your bearings!'

'It isn't right to have that many bras in one place!' Aqualad sulked. 'I wonder how many poor defenceless men have gotten lost and ended up starving to death?'

'Oh, Garth...' Dolphin chuckled.

'Pizza's up!' Roy announced as he walked up with everybody's food. 'And Garth, I got you something a little extra special...'

'Ooh, I like special...' Aqualad grinned. 'What is it?'

'See for yourself, buddy...' Roy smiled as he handed the young Atlantean his pizza.

Aqualad reached to tuck in, but reared back once he saw what was on his pizza. Right in the middle of the pizza, amongst the peppers and slices of pepperoni, was one sole anchovy.

'Gah! Take it away!'

Donna shook her head at her boyfriend's prank.

'Roy, there was no need for that.' Donna frowned. 'You know how Garth feels about anchovies.'

'But...' Roy tried to look for somebody that was amused by his joke. There wasn't a single smile amongst the group.

'Aww, forget the whole lot of you...' Roy sulked as he tucked into his own pizza.

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Sexy Time for CM3**

_CM3 and Mary Marvel up a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..._


	15. Sexy Time For CM3

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 15: Sexy Time For CM3**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Steel City-**

It was a typically beautiful day in Steel City. One person that wasn't all that bothered whether the day was beautiful or not was Freddy Freeman, also known as the young hero Captain Marvel Junior, or CM3. Freddy was lonely, you see. It seemed to him that every member of Titans East had paired off with somebody else. Speedy had Donna, Aqualad had Dolphin, Jade had Kyle Rayner, and Jericho had that Kole girl. The only ones that weren't already spoken for were Secret, Mas y Menos, and Miss Martian. It was only a matter of time until they all got paired off though.

Shortly before joining up with Titans East, Freddy had started a relationship with Mary Marvel, the younger sister of Captain Marvel. That relationship didn't seem to last very well as Mary went off to London to join the International branch of the Justice League.

Freddy sighed heavily as he dangled his legs over the edge of the tower's roof and thought about Mary. How her eyes sparkled when she laughed. How her lovely long hair waved in the wind.

'Gah! Snap out of it, Freddy!' The young Marvel shook his head. 'Don't let yourself get upset over a girl. Even if she is the most beautiful girl you've ever seen…'

Freddy narrowed his eyes as he noticed something approaching in the distance. The young Marvel held his hand up to his eyes to block out the glare of the sun so he could get a better look at what was coming. The person's white costume didn't help with differentiating them from the sun's glare.

Then Freddy realised something. Mary Marvel wore a white costume! It had to be her! But what was she doing in Steel City? Didn't she have work to do with Justice league International?

'Mary, is that you?' Freddy asked, barely believing his eyes.

'Hello Freddy.' Mary Marvel smiled as she landed upon the roof. 'Surprised to see me?'

'I'll say.' Freddy laughed as he got up to his feet. 'I thought you were in London. Wait… does the rest of the JLI know that you're here?'

'Of course they do.' Mary laughed. 'It isn't like I just skipped town without telling them. Jeepers, what kind of person do you think I am?'

'Umm, there's just one more thing…' Freddy scratched the back of his neck. 'Umm… Does Billy know that you're here?'

Mary's brother, Billy Batson, aka Captain Marvel, wasn't all that happy about Mary dating Freddy. It wasn't that Freddy was a bad person or anything, it was just Billy being an over-protective brother.

'Why would Billy know why I'm here?' Mary countered. 'Billy isn't the boss of me. I'm old enough to handle myself, you know. It's about time that he sees that I'm not a little girl any more.'

'Well, I'm just happy that you're here.' Freddy smiled as he took Mary's bag from her. 'Holy Moley! What have you got packed in here, the British Crown Jewels, or something?'

'Oh, Don't be silly.' Mary chuckled. 'I'd never steal the Crown Jewels. They're too well-guarded for one reason…'

* * *

**Inside-**

Freddy had taken Mary inside the tower to introduce her to the rest of the team.

'Hey guys, I've got somebody that I'd like you to meet.' Freddy introduced as he walked in to the tower. 'This is a very good friend of mine, Mary Marvel.'

Mas y Menos, the two speedster twins, were the first to greet Mary. The pair zipped up to her and gave her a great big hug.

'Hola Mary.' The twins grinned as they squeezed her tight. 'Welcome to Titans East.'

'Umm… thanks.' Mary blinked uncertainly before turning to Freddy. 'Are they usually this… clingy?'

'Only with beautiful women.' Freddy responded.

Then the rest of Titans East stepped up to introduce themselves.

'This is Roy and Donna…' Freddy introduced the young archer and his Amazon friend. 'Roy used to be Green Arrow's partner, and Donna is Wonder Woman's sister.'

'Oh, I've never met Wonder Woman before.' Mary nodded. 'Is she nice?'

'I'll say!' Roy smirked. 'The Amazons sure know how to grow 'em. Yow!'

Donna shot the young archer a withering glare, making the redhead wince.

'You'll have to excuse Roy, he sometimes forgets that he's already spoken for.'

Freddy then went on to introduce Mary to some more of his team-mates.

'And this is Garth and Dolphin, they're both from Atlantis.'

'I met Aquaman once.' Mary remembered. 'I didn't like him all that much. He was grouchy and he smelt like a fish market.'

'He's not _that _bad.' Aqualad rolled his eyes. 'You should see him around his wife and child.'

Next was Jade, Miss Martian, Jericho, and Secret.

'Ooh, I love your skin.' Mary nodded in appreciation. 'Is that natural?'

'Yeah, it's all part of my powers.' Jade nodded. 'My dad's Alan Scott, the original Green Lantern. I don't need a Power Ring to use my energy powers, It's all natural.'

'Donna and the others rescued me from Cadmus.' Secret explained. 'They were going to experiment on me. I'd dread to think what would have happened if they hadn't found me.'

'My name's M'gann M'orzz.' Miss Martian introduced herself with a friendly smile. 'People call me Megan.'

Miss Martian then held out a box of cookies that she was holding.

'Would you like a cookie?' She offered. 'They are Oreos.'

'I'm fine, thank you.' Mary smile politely. 'I had something to eat before I left London.'

'Good.' Miss Martian sniffed. 'All the more cookies for me!'

'And this is another one of our newest members, Jericho.' Freddy introduced the young blond hero. 'Joey can't talk, so he uses sign language.'

'Oh, that's okay.' Mary nodded in understanding. 'I know a little bit of sign language.'

'_It's a pleasure to meet you._' Jericho signed.

'It's a pleasure to meet you too, Joey.' Mary smiled. 'Wow, Freddy. You've got so many interesting friends, and this tower of yours looks neat. I can't wait to see the rest of it!'

'I'll show you the rest in a little while.' Freddy explained. 'We were just about to have something to eat, I think.'

'Nobody touch my cookies!' Miss Martian crie dout, holding her beloved cookies close. 'They're mine!'

'We don't want your cookies, Megan.' Roy rolled his eyes. 'We're going to have fish tacos!'

'You disgust me, Harper…' Aqualad glared at the young archer.

'Oh, get over it, Fish sticks.' Roy retorted.

'You call me that again, Harper…' Aqualad growled as he got into the archer's face. 'And it'll be pow, zoom, straight to the abyss!'

'You don't have the guts!' Roy challenged, poking the young Atlantean in the chest.

'Will you boys please stop arguing?' Dolphin groaned. 'We have guests, remember?'

'Don't make us kick your butts!' Donna warned. 'Because you know we can.'

'Shutting up.' Roy smiled sweetly. Aqualad nodded in agreement.

'We'll be good.'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Titans East Hit The Town**

_Freddy and the rest of Titans East shows Mary around Steel City._


	16. Titans East Hit The Town

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 16: Titans East Hit The Town**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Steel City-**

Night time was when Steel City came alive. Okay, perhaps the city didn't have the reputation of a thriving nightlife like Metropolis, but is wasn't exactly a slouch in the partying department.

Several of Steel City's local heroes had decided to take the night off and head off to the clubs. Mary Batson, Freddy Freeman's girlfriend, had taken some time off from her Justice League International duties in London and had paid Titans East a visit. That was another reason why the young heroes were spending a night on the town. Freddy wanted to show his girl a good time before she had to go back to England.

'Jeepers.' Mary smiled in amazement as she looked around at all of the bright neon signs and the like. 'There isn't anything like this in London. Okay, there's Piccadilly Circus. Holy moley, that's a sight. But that's nothing compared to Steel City.'

Mary snuggled up closer to Freddy as they walked along with the others.

'London is nothing without you, Freddy.' Mary smiled lovingly at her boyfriend.

'Ack! Ack! _Aaaack!_' Aqualad made retching noises as he pretended to be sick. Dolphin shot the young Atlantean with a glare.

'Why don't you say things like that to me any more, Garth?' The silver-haired young woman pouted. 'People would think that you don't love me. There's another woman, isn't there? You've been seeing somebody behind my back!'

Garth just smiled nervously and backed away from his angry girlfriend.

'Umm… it isn't like that, really…' The young Atlantean tried to reassure his silver-haired lady-friend, but it wasn't working. Garth looked at Roy for help.

'Leave me out of this, man.' The bow-wielding hero known as Speedy shook his head. 'I know better than to get in the way of an angry woman.'

'I think Dolphin's right, Roy.' Donna responded. 'You hardly ever say that you love me nowadays.'

'That's because I don't need to.' Roy gave the young Amazon a charming smile as he slid his arm around her waist. 'You know that I love you no matter what.'

Garth glared daggers at the young archer.

'You make me sick, you know that?'

'Aww, you're just bitter because you're whipped.' Roy retorted.

'_Whipped?_' Garth spluttered. 'I'll show _you _who's whipped!'

Roy let go of Donna and turned to look at Garth right in the face.

'Oh, do you wanna rumble, Fish-sticks?' The red-headed hero poked the young Atlantean in the chest. 'Then bring it!'

Freddy quickly leapt in to stop the ensuing fight.

'Guys, guys, let's not fight, okay?' The young member of the Marvel family told them. 'Let's not spoil the good night out before it's even started.'

'But he started it!' Garth pointed an accusatory finger at Roy.

'Oh, grow up, Halibut-Head.' Roy rolled his eyes.

'I'll give you Halibut-Head, Jerk-Monkey!' Garth growled as he tried to make a grab for Roy. Freddy sighed heavily as he struggled to keep the two young men apart.

'Guys, stop it!' Freddy shouted above his teammates' arguing voices. 'Guys, please!'

'Are they usually like this?' Mary asked as she looked over at Donna and Dolphin.

'Oh, this is nothing.' Dolphin shook her head. 'These two will start fighting at the drop of the hat.'

'Why, last week they almost came to blows over who got the last Cheesy Puff.' Donna remembered.

'You know, we should just let them get on with it and fight each other.' Dolphin suggested. 'It might help them work out their tension.' Donna nodded in wholehearted agreement.

'Oh, yeah! There could be baby oil involved!'

* * *

**Later-**

Thankfully, Roy and Garth's argument had only been a battle of words, and no punches were thrown. Nobody had been dealt any permanent damage. Donna had ushered the group onwards to a nearby club where Jenny and the others were waiting for them.

Warriors was a string of clubs that was owned by Guy Gardner, arrogant Green Lantern and charter member of Justice League International. As well as Steel City, Gardner had a Warriors club in New York, Central City, Metropolis, and London. Batman wouldn't let him open a club in Gotham City, but it was rumoured that gardner was going ahead with his plans for a Gotham Warriors whether the Dark Knight gave his blessing or not.

'I never realised that Mr Gardner had so many clubs all over the place.' Mary gaped in amazement as she walked inside the establishment. 'I wonder if this will be like the Warriors in London?'

'Why do you keep on being so nice about Gardner?' Roy frowned. 'From what I've heard, he's a total jerk.'

'Well, Uncle Marvel always says that you must be polite and respectful to your elders. Even if they are total jerks.' Mary told the young archer. 'Besides, Mr Gardner isn't all that bad once you get to know him. He's rather quite sweet.'

'Are we talking about the same Guy Gardner?' Freddy frowned in confusion. 'Because I'm confused.'

'Oh, shush, you.' Mary swatted her boyfriend on the arm.

'Hey, guys! Over here!'

The group of young heroes all turned around at the sound of the voice. It was Jennie Lynn-Hayden, also known as the energy-wielding heroine Jade. The green-skinned young woman waved the group over to a table where she was sitting with Jericho, Mas y Menos, Secret, and Miss Martian.

'I was started to wonder if you guys were going to show up at all.' Jennie told the new arrivals. 'Roy and Garth got in another fight, didn't they?'

'Roy started it…' Garth muttered under his breath. 'It wasn't my fault.'

'Garth…' Dolphin warned the young Atlantean. 'Don't start.'

'Are you sure that these people won't mind us being here without disguises?' Secret asked. 'I mean, won't they be freaked out when they find out that a ghost girl is in the club?'

'Have a look around, sweetie.' Donna told the mist girl, motioning to the other patrons milling about in the club. 'This is a hero-themed club. Almost everybody here is dressed up as somebody else. They'll just think that we're in costume too.'

Miss Martian looked down on the floor when she felt her foot brush against something. It was a soda can that somebody had carelessly thrown away. The young Martian picked it up and gave it a sniff before starting to nibble on the object.

'Uhh… Megan, what're you doing?' A bemused Roy asked.

'I am eating.' Megan responded matter-of-factly. 'Is this object not a suitable source of nutrition?'

'No, Megan. That is a soda can.' Roy told the naïve alien. 'We don't eat soda cans that people have thrown on the floor.'

'Why not?' The curious Martian asked.

'Well, because it just isn't hygienic, for one.' Donna told her. 'Now, why don't you throw that away and we can order you one of those pretty onion flower things.'

'Ooh!' Megan's face lit up with a smile as she thought of something. 'Do they have Oreos here?'

'Uh… I think so.' Freddy responded as he looked at a list of bar snacks. 'There's an Oreo cheesecake.'

'I would like to have an Oreo cheesecake, if I may.' Megan smiled.

'Hey, there's no need to get our permission.' Dolphin answered. 'If you want an Oreo cheesecake, than you have one.'

'Also, try the buffalo chicken wings. They are _muy bueno!_' Mas y Menos chipped in. Jericho smiled as he signed something.

'Joey says that he likes the corndogs that they serve here.' Donna translated. 'They're served with this little tub of melted cheese which is just divine.'

'You mean that Joey said that with just one little bit of sign language?' Mary blinked.

'Well, that was what he said.' Donna shrugged. 'More or less. I might have embellished it a bit.'

Joey signed something else.

'Joey knows that you love the cheese that the corndogs are served with.' Roy told everybody. 'You really are pretty predictable, Donna.'

'Then I shall have corndogs as well as an Oreo cheesecake.' Megan smiled. 'But what about this onion flower thing that you mentioned before?'

'Do you see what that guy behind you is eating?' Garth asked as he indicated somebody sitting behind Megan.

'Ooh! That is beautiful!' Megan beamed as she watched the guy eating the onion flower. 'But how is it so possible to create such an object from a lowly onion?'

'Well, the way I hear it is they cut up an onion into a flower shape, then freeze it to keep it in one piece.' Jenny told the Martian. 'Then they deep fry it.'

'Ooh! I shall also have one of them.' Megan grinned. 'I would like an onion flower with my Oreo cheesecake and corndogs.' Donna grimaced at that.

'There's a recipe for bad breath if I ever heard one.'

'Then I shall have a mint julep to freshen my breath.' Megan smiled.

'Uh, Megan, remember that you're under age.' Freddy reminded her. 'You can't drink in the United States until you're twenty-one. But I'm sure that they have a non-alcoholic version here.'

'Yeah, it's worse enough the you ended up getting hooked on Oreos.' Garth nodded. 'We don't need to get you hooked on booze as well.'

'Whereas you aren't hooked on anything at all.' Roy teased the young Atlantean.

'Yes, that's because I don't have an addictive personality, Roy.' Garth shot back. 'Unlike _some _people.'

'Do you know what I do like a lot?' Roy asked mischievously. '_Anchovies!_'

Garth fell off his stool with a yelp of surprise at the mere mention of the salty pizza accompaniment.

'Ahh! Anchovies! Get them away!'

'Oh, yes. Thanks a lot, Roy.' Dolphin groaned into her hands. 'I'll never be able to calm him down now.'

The silver-haired Atlantean stroked Garth's head as he tucked his knees underneath his chin and started to rock back-and-forth.

'Can't sleep. Anchovies'll eat me. Can't sleep. Anchovies'll eat me.'

'Cool! I broke his brain!' Roy smile proudly. Donna shot her boyfriend a withering glare before an idea started to develop in her mind. The young Amazon grinned mischievously.

'Hey, Roy. Look, sock puppets!'

Roy jumped up from his eat and hopped up onto a nearby table.

'Eek! Sock puppets! Where? _Where? _For the love of God, don't let them touch me!'

Donna leant back in her seat with a satisfied smile.

'Messing with Roy's mind is so much fun.'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: You Won't Like Megan When She's Angry**

_With their night out finished, Titans East heads back home, and Miss Martian end sup foiling a convenience store hold-up on the way._


	17. You Won't Like Her When She's Angry

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 17: You Won't Like Her When She's Angry**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Steel City-**

Titans East had finished their night out at the local Warriors nightclub. Garth, Dolphin, Mas y Menos, Joey, Freddy, and Mary had headed home to the tower. That left Donna, Roy, Jenny, Secret, and Megan free to take a leisurely stroll through the city.

Donna and Roy walked along hand-in-hand while the other girls brought up the rear. Megan kept on lagging behind as she kept on getting distracted by all the bright lights and the aromas of the various refreshment carts. The young Martian had already guzzled down several hotdogs, pretzels, and ice-creams. The girl certainly liked her food.

'Mmm, that pretzel was delicious.' Megan smiled as she picked some spare grains of salt off her napkin. 'May I purchase another?'

'Don't you think you've had enough?' Donna asked the redhaired Martian. 'Martian metabolism or not, there's only so much junk food that one person can take.'

'It's not like Megan can get fat, or anything.' Jenny chipped in. 'Cholesterol is kind of redundant when you can control every molecule of your body.'

'But I'm hungry…' Megan complained. 'Can we please stop somewhere so that I may purchase some more sustenance?'

'Hey, there's a cart over there selling candy apples and stuff.' Roy indicated a brightly-coloured cart with a wave of his hand. 'Who wants some sugary goodness? It's on me.'

'I'm alright, thank you.' Secret smiled sweetly as she hovered nearby. 'Sugar kind of loses its appeal when you're a ghost.'

'Would the candy apples not be sticky and uncomfortable if they were indeed on you, Roy?' A confused Megan blinked.

'I didn't mean that they'd actually be _on _me, Megan…' Roy told the naïve alien. 'I was merely saying that I would be the one paying for them.'

'Then why are we standing here talking?' Megan responded. 'Please, go and purchase us some candy apples.'

Roy did as he was told and toddled off to by the girls some candy apples. Jenny then leant over to whisper to Donna.

'I wonder if Starfire was this bossy when she joined the Titans?'

* * *

**A little later-**

The girls had polished off their candy apples and had continued on their stroll through Steel City. Once again, Megan had held the group up with her insistence of stopping off at every hotdog stand or ice-cream vendor to get something to eat.

Donna, Roy, Secret, and Jenny were sitting in a pavement café opposite a convenience store. Megan had gone inside to buy some Oreos. Hopefully that would be the last thing that the young Martian wanted.

Roy turned to regard Donna and the other two girls, two discarded candy apple stick stuck in his mouth like a vampire's fangs.

'_Bleurgh! _I vant to suck your blood!' Roy said in his best vampire voice. 'One pretty girl. Two pretty girls. Three pretty girls. Three pretty girls! Mwa-ha-haaa!'

'How old are you, Roy?' Donna rolled her eyes.

'Children of the night. What music they make.' Roy continued.

'Please stop.' Jenny groaned, placing her head in her hands.

'I am Drac-u-la.' Roy carried on with his bad vampire impression. 'I bid you _velcome._'

'Doesn't he ever stop?' Secret asked her friends.

'Oh, just give him another minute or so.' Donna answered, waving at Roy. 'Then he'll run out of things to say and get bored.'

'I do not drink… _vine._' Roy persisted with his mocking of vampires.

'Have you quite finished?' Donna asked him.

'I'm good.' Roy smiled as he removed the candy apple sticks from his mouth. 'Who wants to hear my Frankenstein's Monster impression?'

'Please, Hera. No more…' Donna groaned into her hands. Fortunately, the young Amazon was spared any further embarrassment when the sound of gunfire came from inside the store opposite.

'_**BLAM! BLAM!'**_

'Oh, God! Megan's in there!' Jenny realised as she jumped to her feet. 'She could be in trouble!'

'We'd better go in there and see if she needs any help.' Secret nodded in agreement.

Roy had forgotten his momentary silliness and had turned totally serious. The leader of Titans east stood ready to command his teammates.

'Titans East: _**GO!**_'

* * *

**A few minutes earlier, inside the store-**

Megan headed towards the counter carrying a handful of Oreo packages.

'I think these will suffice for tonight.' The young Martian smiled to herself. 'They should sate my hunger for now.'

Megan stopped by a magazine rack to read something that she liked the look of.

'Ooh, Oreo Digest.' The green-skinned young woman smiled. 'That looks like a fascinating publication. I shall have to purchase it with my many Oreos.'

Megan struggled to readjust her hold on her bags of Oreos so she could take a copy of the magazine out of the rack.

The sound of a shotgun cocking caught the young heroine's attention.

'This is a stick up!' The person brandishing the shotgun, a man wearing a Batman mask, yelled at the cowering patrons. 'Empty out the cash registers into this bag and nobody'll get hurt.'

'Do it! Do it now!' The man's accomplice, a guy wearing a Superman mask, pointed his gun at the cashier. 'C'mon! don't make me blast you!'

'Excuse me, but were you not told that pointing guns at people is dangerous?' Megan asked as she calmly walked up to the would-be thieves. 'Somebody could be hurt.'

'What the hell?' The guy in the Batman mask blinked. 'Who the frag're you?'

'Oh, I apologise.' Megan smiled sweetly as she held out her hand so the guy could shake it. 'I am Miss Martian. I am one of Titans East.'

'She's a hero!' The guy in the Superman mask realised. 'Blast her! Blast her good!'

Both thieves opened fire at Megan.

_**BLAM! BLAM!**_

'Oh. That was not very nice at all.' Megan frowned as she held up her tattered Oreo packages. 'You shot the Oreos. I do not like it when people shoot my Oreos.'

The two thieves started to back away as Megan's skin started to turn white.

'_You shot my Oreos!_' Megan growled as she morphed into her true form, that of a White Martian. All teeth and nasty claws. '_That was very mean!_'

The guy in the Superman mask held his gun at Megan with quivering hands.

_**BLAM!**_

The bullet bounced harmlessly off Megan's tough hide.

'_I think I had better take those guns away from you before you hurt somebody._' Megan growled as she snatched the guns right out of the thieves' hands.

'Forget this!' The guy in the Batman mask yelped. 'Let's get outta here!'

'_Why are you in such a hurry to leave?' _Megan asked. _'Do you not wish to stay and play?'_

The White Martian grabbed the guy in the Superman mask by the head and slung him over her shoulder, sending him crashing into a glass cabinet of beer.

Megan grabbed the second thief just as Roy and the other Titans ran into the store.

'_Oh, hey, guys._' Megan smiled as she threw the guy with the Batman mask into a display of oranges. _'There is no need to worry. I have defeated the thieves.'_

'Megan…?' Donna blinked in confusion. 'Is… is that you…?'

'I suppose I have a lot of explaining to do, don't I?' Megan smiled in embarrassment as she took on her more familiar red-haired form.

'I'll say.' Roy nodded. 'Like, since when have you been a White Martian?'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Megan's Got Some 'Splaining To Do**

_The Martian Manhunter guest-stars as Megan recounts her origin._


	18. Megan's Got Some 'Splaining To Do

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 18: Megan's Got Some 'Splaining To Do**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_'__I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine. And he shall be my Squishy.'_**- Dory (Finding Nemo)**

* * *

**Steel City-**

M'gann M'orzz, the young Martian heroine known as Miss Martian, was standing before the rest of Titans East. Just the night before, Megan had accidentally revealed her true heritage as a White Martian to her teammates whilst foiling a robbery at a convenience store. Megan had asked her mentor, J'onn J'onzz, the infamous Martian Manhunter, to come to Titans East Tower to help prove that her intentions were good.

'Why don't you start from the beginning?' Roy asked.

Megan looked over at J'onn, who gave her a gentle nod, indicating that she should continue.

'I don't really remember how I came to Earth, my memory is fuzzy.' Megan wrung her hands nervously. 'But I'll try my best. From what J'onn has been able to tell me, my parents were outcasts from White Martian society, because they didn't believe in the campaign of death and destruction that the others loved so much. My parents even went so far as to join an underground movement with the more peaceful Green Martians. My parents constantly lived in fear of being discovered by the other White Martians. They would have been executed for their crimes, which was why they intended to put me in a rocket ship and send me someplace where I would be safe. Unfortunately, the other White Martians attacked the base where my parents were hiding and killed them. They captured me and several other young Green Martians. They would have turned us into slaves if it wasn't for J'onn and the rest of the Justice League.'

'Is what she is saying true, J'onn?' Donna asked as she looked at the Martian Manhunter.

'Yes, all of what M'gann is saying is true.' J'onn nodded in confirmation. 'Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, and myself helped to rescue some young Green Martians from slavery.'

'But didn't the White Martians wipe out all of the Green Martians ages ago?' Garth frowned in confusion, scratching his head. 'You even said that yourself.'

'That is precisely what I thought.' J'onn responded. 'Until the Watchtower received a distress signal from the Vega System.'

'Kyle told me about that place.' Jennie remembered. 'It's a hive of White Martian activity. No being in their right mind would dare to go there, not even the Green Lantern Corps.'

'What I want to know is why the Justice League didn't see it fit to tell us all about this when Megan joined Titans East.' Freddy chipped in. Jericho start to sign something.

'Joey thinks that maybe they thought we'd take it the wrong way.' Donna translated. 'We've all been told that the White Martians are monsters. They probably thought that we'd assume the same thing about Megan.'

'I understand that you are angry…' Megan sighed sadly. 'You do not wish for a vicious alien to be part of your team.'

'It isn't that, Megan…' Roy told the young Martian. 'It's just… we're your friends. We have a right to know these things.

An angry Jericho stood up and began to sign something.

'What is he saying?' A confused Mas asked.

'Si, he is signing too fast for us to understand.' Menos agreed.

'Joey is angry that your are treating your friend this way.' Dolphin translated. 'You didn't treat him the same way when you found out that he is Slade's son. And frankly, I feel that I have to agree with him. I am related to an evil Atlantean sorceress after all.'

'I don't think that I have any evil relatives, but I agree with Megan too.' Secret added her two cents. 'She's our friend. We shouldn't be treating her this way.'

'Does this mean that you are not going to make me leave?' Megan asked.

'We weren't ever going to make you leave.' Donna explained. 'We just felt that we were owed an explanation.'

'Yeah, we're not angry with you.' Garth nodded. 'We're angry with the Justice League for not telling us in the first place.'

'To be fair, they probably thought that it would be better if Megan told us herself.' Freddy countered. 'It wouldn't be right to spill somebody else's secrets.'

'I am truly sorry for any upset that this has caused.' J'onn told the younger heroes. 'I take full responsibility. I trust that nobody's feeling were hurt too badly?'

'I still intend to have words with Diana.' Donna frowned. 'She's my sister, for Hera's sake! We tell each other everything!'

'I am just glad that you are not upset with me.' Megan smiled slightly. 'I know that this news has been difficult for you. I never intended to anger anybody.'

'You haven't upset anybody, sweetie.' Jennie smiled as she patted the young Martian on the shoulder. 'It was wrong of us to judge you by the way your relatives did things. If anything we have to apologise to you.'

'Then you do not want me to leave?' Megan asked.

'We wouldn't dream of it.' Freddy smiled. 'You're one of us now. You're more than a friend to us, you're family now.'

Megan smiled happily as her friends stood up and all gave her a big hug.

'You know, those men that tried to rob the store did destroy my Oreos.' Megan stated. 'I will still have to go and purchase some more.'

'Think nothing of it, Megan.' Roy responded. 'It is my duty as leader of Titans East to do acquiesce to your wish.'

'Dude, wait… what?' Garth blinked in confusion.

'It means that Roy is going to do the shopping.' Dolphin told the dim Atlantean.

'Oh.' Garth nodded in understanding. 'I knew that.'

* * *

**A few miles outside Steel City-**

Meanwhile, a few miles from the Steel City border, a truck stopped by the side of the road to pick up a hitchhiker.

'Where you going, pal?' The driver asked.

'Steel City.' The hat-wearing hitchhiker answered as he pulled the brim of his hat lower to protect his face from the rain.

'I'm going that way myself. Hop on in.' The driver kindly told him. The hitchhiker did as he was told and got in beside the driver. 'Terrible weather, huh?'

'Yeah, it's a real pickle alright.' The hitchhiker nodded. 'But oneh as to laugh in these situations…'

The truck driver started to cough as some sort of gas began to seep from a plastic flower hidden in the hitchhiker's jacket.

'_Kaff… Kaff_. What the he-heh. Ha-hah. Ha-ha-ha! _**BWA-HA-HA-HAAAA!!**_'

The truck driver fell onto the steering wheel, his face stuck in a rictus-like grin. The hitchhiker removed his hat to reveal the face of the Clown Prince of Crime, the Harlequin of Hate, the Joker!

The Joker let out a chuckle as he open the driver's side door and threw the dead truck driver down a grassy verge, He then took the driver's place behind the wheel.

'Heh. He should have known that it isn't wise to pick up hitchhikers.'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: The Joke's On You**

_Harley Quinn and the Suicide Squad guest star as the Joker begins his campaign of terror in Steel City._


	19. The Joke's On You: Part 1

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 19: The Joke's On You- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_'__Holy cow, you crapped a Masterpiece!'_**- Shawn Michaels**

* * *

**Steel City Police Department-**

It had been a slow day at work at the headquarters of Steel City's finest. There wasn't much crime going on at the moment. Although, a truck driver had been found dead in the outskirts of the city. His face had turned deathly pale and he had a rictus-like grin on his face. The homicide department were glad to get outside to do some actual work. Anything was better than doing paperwork.

'Hey, somebody order some donuts?' A thin man dressed in a uniform identifying him as a deliveryman for a local donut store.

Gail Starling, the officer sitting at the front desk turned around to call to her fellow officers.

'Hey, Martin! Your donuts are here!'

'I didn't order any donuts.' Martin Murtaugh, Starling's superior officer, responded as he walked out of his office. 'You got the wrong address, buddy.'

'Well, somebody had better take these donuts.' The deliveryman pointed out. 'Or they're coming out of my paycheck. I can't afford that happening again. I've got a wife and kid to support.'

'Fine, give them here.' Murtaugh sighed as he took the box of donuts from the deliveryman and paid him. 'There'd better be jelly donuts in here.'

The deliveryman pocketed the money and headed back outside to his waiting van and started the engine.

'Tee-hee. Don't you pigs know that those things'll be the death of you?' The Joker giggled insanely as he removed the rubber mask he had been wearing. Behind the Clown Prince of Crime, Steel City police headquarters exploded in a giant fireball.

* * *

**Later-**

About half-an-hour later, Titans East were on the scene sifting through the wreckage of what had once been police headquarters. Donna Troy, CM3, Jade, and Miss Martian were lifting up wrecked sections of wall so the paramedics could reach the injured. Speedy and the others were helping the paramedics administer treatment to the wounded and moving away the dead.

'I can't believe we fell for it like amateurs.' An battered and bloodied, but alive Starling groaned as Jericho bandaged a wound on her head. 'Poor Sarge. He was the one that opened the box.'

'Do you know who was responsible for the attack?' Speedy inquired.

Donna saw something sticking out of the dirt underneath her feet. It looked like a battered playing card.

'Hey, Speedy, look at this…' The young Amazon called her teammate over and showed him the card. 'This card's got a joker on it. You don't think…?'

'Well, after that dead trucker that was found last night, I'd say so.' The red-clad archer nodded. 'It looks like the Joker decided to pay us a visit.'

'Aww, no...' CM3 sighed, shaking his head. 'If it is the Joker, we may need help. He's a real bad one.'

'But why blow up police headquarters?' Jade asked. 'It doesn't make any sense.'

'The Joker doesn't care about having a plan that makes logical sense.' Aqualad explained to the the green-skinned heroine. 'All he cares about is making a big impact.'

'I think we've done enough here.' Speedy told his team. 'I'm sure the paramedics can handle things now. We've recovered all of the injured. We have to go find the Joker.'

'Not so fast, kid!'

The young heroes all turned around at the sound of the voice. A man dressed in a red-and-grey outfit with a grey mask fitted with a gun sight approached the team. It was Deadshot, former hired assassin. He was no part of a government-sanctioned band of reformed villains known as the Suicide Squad. The Squad were notorious for having villains on the team, and a roster that constantly changed.

'You kids aren't going anywhere.' Deadshot told the young heroes. 'This is Suicide Squad business now.'

'Like Hades it is!' Donna retorted as she got into the ex-assassin's face. 'It's _our_ job to stop the Joker! How do we know that you're not in league with him? You've got his girlfriend on your team, for Hera's sake!'

'We kind of had a… disagreement.' Harley Quinn remembered. 'He shot me out of a cannon.'

'Oh, yeah. Like that'll last.' Aqualad snorted.

'Do you have something to say, little boy?' The redheaded former Female Fury known as Knockout glared down at the young Atlantean. 'If you insult a friend, then you insult me.'

'I'll be good.' Aqualad squeaked fearfully as he backed away.

'I have to apologise for Knockout.' A brunette woman, wielding dangerous-looking blades on her wrists sighed. 'She takes some things so personally.'

'Oh, that's fine.' Miss Martian smiled sweetly. 'You're heroes too, are you?'

'You're not from around here, are you?' Captain Boomerang frowned.

'No, I'm a Martian.' The shape shifting telepath responded proudly as she held out a hand for somebody to shake. 'I'm Miss Martian. Pleasure to meet you.'

'I'm Scandal.' The blade-wielding woman introduced herself, shaking the offered hand. 'And these are my teammates: Deadshot, Captain Boomerang, Knockout, Parademon, Ragdoll, Harley Quinn, and Poison Ivy.'

'So… what? Does this mean we're going to team up?' Jade asked.

'It's certainly more useful than standing around here and arguing.' Poison Ivy pointed out.

'Oh, this is going to be so much fun!' Miss Martian clapped her hands excitedly. 'I've never had a team-up before. What is it like? Will there be Oreos?'

Captain Boomerang shook his head at that.

'You _really_ aren't from around here, are you?'

* * *

**Elsewhere-**

In an old abandoned toy factory somewhere in Steel City, the Joker was watching news coverage of his attack on police headquarters. Well, he was trying to watch the television. The lackey that was holding up the antenna kept on wobbling.

'Curly, what did I tell you about moving?' The Clown Prince of Crime sighed in exasperation as he pulled out a gun from his jacket.

'I-I'm sorry, Boss.' Curly stuttered. 'I can't help it.'

_**BLAM! **_

The Joker shot his lackey, making him drop the television antenna.

'Well, it looks like the TV's out of commission.' The pasty-faced villain tutted. 'I think I'll go blow something else up. But what? Anybody got any ideas? Moe, Larry? A little help?'

'How about blowing up city hall next, Boss?' Larry offered.

'Oh, so now you think you're in charge of the group, huh?' The Joker frowned as he took aim at Larry. Fortunately, the poor lackey was spared a painful death as the ceiling exploded inwards as Titans East and the Suicide Squad made their entrance.

'Don't make another step, Joker!' Speedy demanded as he aimed an arrow at the Harlequin of Hate.

'Kid, if you're going to try to channel the Dork Knight, you might want to think of a change of outfit. Red is _so_ last season!'

'We're here to take you in, Joker.' Scandal told the psychotic clown. 'Now, we can do this the hard way, or the easy way.'

'Please choose the hard way.' Parademon grinned as he cracked his knuckles in anticipation. 'I do like it when people choose the hard way.'

'Then I guess this gives me an excuse to play with some toys that Toyman gave me.' The Joker grinned. 'Okay, I take that back. I killed him and took his stuff, but who's complaining? It's not like he can sue me for copyright infringement or anything.'

The Joker pulled a control device from his pocket and pressed a button. All around the abandoned factory, giant robot clowns burst out from the crates that were holding them. Aqualad groaned in exasperation.

'Robots. Why did it have to be robots?'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: The Joke's On You- Part 2**

_Titans East and the Suicide squad take on the Joker, but will Harley Quinn stay loyal to the Squad, or will she go back to her Puddin'? Tune in next time to find out…_


	20. The Joke's On You: Part 2

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 20: The Joke's On You- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_'__Leave me alone, Wolverine! I... I don't like you anymore! You smell like barfed up hair!'_- **Molly Hayes (Runaways: Free Comic Book Day Special) **

* * *

**Somewhere in Steel City-**

In a warehouse somewhere in Steel City, Titans East had combined their forces with those of the Suicide Squad against a gang of giant killer robot clowns. The Joker had left a trail of chaos all through the city and the young heroes aimed to stop him.

'Oh, for Hera's sake…' Donna Troy grimaced as she punched a hole through the chest of one of the robots. 'I hate robots!'

'Oh, I think they're pretty neat.' Miss Martian grinned as she morphed into a giant snake and wrapped herself around one of the snakes, crushing it within her coils. 'With robots you don't have to worry about holding back or hurting anybody.'

'Megan, you think _everything_ is neat.' Jade countered as she sliced another robot in half with a great big green buzz saw. 'You even think that dumb Superbuddies cartoon is neat.'

'Oh, I don't know.' CM3 shrugged as he tore a robot's head off. 'The bug guy and future guy are pretty funny.'

'Oh! I _love_ that show!' Harley Quinn grinned as she smashed one of the robots in the leg with her giant mallet, sending it tumbling backwards. 'You've got great taste, kid!'

'_Touch the clown and die!_' Parademon bellowed as he leapt onto one of the robots that had just trodden upon Ragdoll and began to tear it apart with his bare hands.

'I am terribly sorry about my friend.' Ragdoll apologised as he got up to his feet and straightened out his neck with a sickening crack. 'He really is quite protective of me. I find it quite charming.'

'But one of those robots just stomped on you…' Aqualad pointed out. 'Why aren't you… Y'know, dead?'

'Being trodden upon doesn't really bother me.' Ragdoll explained. 'I replaced my joints with cybernetic parts, you see. Alas, it left me badly disfigured and in need of regular doses of lubricant that keeps my new joints moving. Otherwise they will cut my brittle flesh to shreds.'

'Okay, forget I asked…' Aqualad shivered in disgust.

'Hey, wait a minute…' Deadshot frowned as he looked around the warehouse. 'Where the hell has the Joker gone?'

'Aww, crap.' Speedy cursed himself as he took out one of the robot clowns with an electro-arrow. 'While we were making with the banter, the jerk got away!'

'I bet he's made his way up to the roof.' Poison Ivy surmised. 'I saw a helicopter up there when we arrived.'

'He's mine!' Harley Quinn growled as she dashed off to stop her former beau from making a getaway.

* * *

**The roof-**

Up on the roof, the Joker was running towards a helicopter that he would use to make a getaway.

'I would have loved to see those heroes getting stomped, but things were starting to get messy.' The Joker mumbled to himself as he climbed onboard the helicopter. 'Pity really, the fight was just getting good.'

_**BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!**_

The Harlequin of Hate was just about to start up the helicopter's rotors when several bullets smashed into its windshield. Harley Quinn stood several feet away with a smoking gun aimed at her former boss.

'Those were just warning shots, Joker!' Harley Quinn told the man that she used to love. 'Get out of the helicopter. The next shot won't miss.'

'Okay, okay. You got me…' The Joker sighed in defeat as he got out of the helicopter and put his hands in the air. 'Just be gentle with the handcuffs, okay?'

'There aren't going to be any handcuffs.' Harley responded. 'The Suicide Squad are here to make sure that your reign of terror comes to an end.'

'And you expect me to believe that?' The Joker snorted in derision. 'Come on, Harl. Be serious for a minute. You won't shoot me. You'd never hurt your precious Mister J.'

'People change, Joker.' Harley spat, still pointing her gun in the Clown Prince of Crime's direction. 'You've messed me around one too many times. It ends now.'

'So, this is all a scorned woman thing?' The Joker laughed. 'Ivy's been getting to you. I never trusted her.'

**BLAM!**

The Joker let out a yell of pain as Harley shot him in the knee.

'Ooh, that smarts…' The Joker grimaced as he held his wound. 'Heh. I guess I underestimated you, Harl.'

The Joker then reached into his coat and pulled out his own gun, one with a three foot long barrel, and turned it on Harley.

'On second thoughts, perhaps that should be the other way around.' The villainous clown grinned evilly as he began to pull the trigger.

Then, a crossbow bolt embedded itself in the Joker's hand, making him drop his gun.

'Oh, for the love of…' The Joker growled as he turned to see who had just shot him. It was Poison Ivy and the others. The redhead had her wrist-mounted crossbow aimed in his direction.

'This is the end, Joker.' Poison Ivy told the green-haired criminal. 'You're not getting away this time.'

'Okay, we've caught the bad guy. Everybody put their guns away.' Speedy tried to calm everybody down. 'There's no need to resort to deadly force. The Joker's done.'

'Geez. Nobody has faith in me anymore.' The Joker rolled his eyes.

'Shut up!' Harley retorted as she kicked her ex-beau on his wounded knee.

'Aww. Why so hostile, Harl?' The Joker laughed. 'You always used to have a sense of fun.'

'I lost my sense of humour when you shot me out of a cannon.' Harley shot back.

'Would it help if I told you that I was sorry?' The Joker offered, his bottom lip poking out in a pout. 'I only did it because I loved you.'

'No. You're not going to charm yourself out of trouble this time.' Harley shook her head. 'I'm not listening.'

'Oh, well.' The Joker shrugged as he stood up and pulled another gun out of his jacket. 'Can't blame a guy for trying.'

'Harley, look out!' Ivy screamed as the Joker took aim and pulled the trigger.

_**BLAM!**_

The Joker stumbled backwards as Harley shot him in the chest.

'Heh. Good shooting, Tex.' The Joker chuckled as he took aim once more. 'Let's see if you've got another in y…'

_**BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!**_

Harley shot the Joker three times, making him stumble back even more. The Clown Prince of Crime let out a chuckle as he wobbled on the edge of the roof.

'Heh. Look out for that last step. It's a doozy.'

_**BLAM!**_

Harley shot the Joker one more time, which finally sent him falling off the roof. The blonde just stared at the ledge, not saying anything.

'Couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke.' Captain Boomerang sniffed. Poison Ivy walked over towards Harley, and put a comforting arm over her shoulders.

'I suppose you children have something to say now.' Knockout chipped in. 'You and your elders are always so infuriating with your resistance to killing.'

'We're not the Justice League.' Donna responded, shaking her head. 'Sometimes fatal force is the only way to go.'

'You know that Batman's going to have something to say about this.' Speedy commented. 'He'll be pissed that we killed his nemesis.'

'He's not dead.' Harley piped up.

'Excuse me?' Dolphin blinked in confusion. 'How could the Joker not be dead after that? He was repeatedly shot in the chest and fell several floors to the ground. Nobody could survive that.'

'The Joker's survived worse. Believe me, kid.' Deadshot remarked. 'We'll take it from here. You run along while we tidy up.'

'We'll take the blame for this.' Scandal reassured the young heroes. 'There's no need to tarnish your reputations. The superhero community already think of us as a band of killers. Who are we to say differently?'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Great Scott!**

_Alan Scott, Earth's first Green Lantern, pays his daughter, Jade, and her friends a visit._


	21. Great Scott!

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 21: Great Scott!**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_'__Madness? THIS IS __**SPARTA!!'- **_**King Leonidas (300)**

* * *

**Steel City-**

It was a typical day in Steel City. The sun was shining, and the birds were singing. Unfortunately, it wasn't to last as something came crashing down to the ground, creating a crater in the concrete of the road.

'Uch. It's going to take me days to wash this stuff off my hands.' Donna Troy grimaced as she dusted some purple goo off her hands. 'Hera knows how I'm going to do tha…'

Donna's words were cut short as Plasmus, the thing she had just dropped from a great height, regained its composure and sent a stream of goop in the young Amazon's direction, and pulled her back down to the ground.

'Donna, no!' Speedy yelled as he nocked an arrow into his bow. 'You'll pay for that, you basta…'

Plasmus soon silenced the young archer as he too was encased in rapidly solidifying slime.

'Then I guess it's up to us…' Aqualad sighed as he looked at his fellow Titans. 'Got any ideas?'

'Search me.' Jade shrugged. 'You're the deputy leader. I'm just a rookie.'

Jericho shrugged his shoulders as well. The blond Titan was fresh out of ideas.

'Well, we have to think of something quick.' Aqualad told his teammates. 'Jade, can you create a giant jar or something to contain Plasmus?'

'No problem.' The green-skinned heroine nodded. 'But how are we going to get Plasmus into the jar in the first place?'

'Must you always poke holes in my cunning plans?' Aqualad sighed in exasperation.

'_**RWAWR!!**_' Plasmus yelled as he reared up to deal with the rest of the pesky young heroes.

_**ZORT!!**_

'Rrrr?' Plasmus blinked his several large green eyes as he looked at the rather large hole that had just been blown in his chest by a beam of green energy.

'Hey, don't look at me.' Jade held her hands up in innocence.

A giant green dustpan and brush then proceeded to pick Plasmus up and deposit him into an already waiting receptacle that would sedate him, returning him to his human form.

'Well, that's Plasmus taking care of.' A man with slightly greying blond hair smiled as he hovered before the heroes. He was dressed in a strange costume: A red sweater with a green train lantern emblem on it, green pants, red boots, and a purple-and-green cape with a scalloped collar. Jade groaned in realisation once she recognised who it was.

'Oh, crap.' The chartreuse-hued heroine grimaced. 'I am so totally busted.'

'Hello, Jenny.' The man smiled as he lowered himself down to the ground. 'Aren't you going to give your father a hug?'

'_Father?!' _Aqualad blinked in surprise. The Atlantean turned to Jade, his jaw agape. 'Your father is Alan Scott? _The _Alan Scott? The same Alan Scott that was Earth's first Green Lantern?'

'The one and the same.' Alan smiled. 'Although, I don't go by Green Lantern any more. It didn't seem proper seeing that I'm not an official member of the Green Lantern Corps. I go by the name Sentinel now.'

'Not that I want to break up the lovely family reunion or anything…' Speedy piped up. 'But can somebody _please_ get us the hell out of this muck?'

* * *

**Back at Titans East Tower-**

Once the authorities had taken Plasmus away, the five Titans took their older guest back to the Tower with them.

'I don't want to sound like a gushing fan boy or anything, but it is an honour to have you here, sir.' Aqualad gushed as he followed the rest of his teammates into their home. 'I can't begin to tell you how cool it is to actually meet you.'

'It's an honour to meet the rest of Titans East.' Alan smiled at the young Atlantean. 'You kids do some great work.'

'So do you.' Donna chipped in. 'My mom talks about you a lot.'

'Hippolyta's a great woman.' Alan complicated with a nod. 'She certainly enjoys her work.'

'Oh, Hades…' Donna grimaced. 'What has she done now?'

'Oh, nothing…' Alan explained. 'Although, she almost ran Count Vertigo through with that sword of hers.'

'Yeah, she'll do that a lot.' Donna nodded in understanding.

'Greetings friends!' Miss Martian grinned as she flew out of the kitchen and grabbed the returning heroes with great big hugs. 'I trust it was a successful battle?'

The five Titans stood there with bemused expressions on their faces. It wasn't the hugs that surprised them, they were used to that. What confused them was the fact that Megan seemed to be wearing a traditional Roman helmet with what seemed to be the brush part of a broom attached to the top of it.

Miss Martian noticed her friends' bemused expressions and removed the helmet from her head.

'I see that you have noticed my helmet.' The green-skinned teen grinned proudly. 'I made it myself. Ooh, isn't it lovely?'

'Uh… It's just great, Marvin, uh, I mean Megan.' Speedy smiled nervously. 'Umm… are the rest of the guys here?'

'Oh, yes.' Miss Martian nodded in confirmation. 'They are all watching the television. Now, if you do not mind, I need to find my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.'

Jade shook her head as Miss Martian flew away.

'That girl watches way too many cartoons.'

* * *

**A little later-**

Alan Scott had tagged along with the five Titans when the young heroes reunited with the rest of their teammates. Megan had joined them as well after she had found what she had been looking for. Unfortunately, her experiment hadn't gone well. As could be evidenced by her slightly blackened face.

'Where was the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom…' The young Martian sulked.

'So, Mr Scott. What brings you here?' Dolphin asked. 'This isn't just a family visit, is it?'

'_**What?!**_' Jade spluttered in disbelief. 'You mean to say that you didn't come here just to see me?'

'I'm sorry, Jenny.' Alan apologised. 'But I did have an ulterior motive for coming here.'

'Well, that wasn't very nice at all.' Captain Marvel Junior tutted. 'if you're not here to see your daughter, then why are you here, Mr Scott?'

'The JSA needs your help.' Alan explained.

'The JSA?' Mas y Menos blinked in confusion. 'What's that?'

'The Justice Society of America.' Jade explained. 'It's kind of like the Justice League, but for old people.'

'The JSA were the world's first superteam.' CM3 added. 'They have been around since WWII.'

'Yeah, I remember Ollie telling me about these guys.' Speedy remembered. 'That Wildcat guy's a member. So is the original Flash.'

'My mom's sort of an unofficial member.' Donna added her two cents. 'She kind of had a thing with Wildcat.'

'_A thing?' _Jericho asked in sign language.

'I'll explain it all later.' Donna told her curly-haired teammate. 'We still have to find out why Mr Scott needs our help.'

'I gather that you're all familiar with Ra's al Ghul?' Alan enquired.

'Oh, yeah.' Aqualad nodded. 'We've heard of him. 'A centuries-old eco-terrorist that's always trying to wipe out the people of the world so he can remake everything to match his vision for world peace, or something.'

'But isn't this something that Batman should be dealing with?' Donna asked. 'I mean, Ra's is one of his villains.'

'Batman's already onboard.' Alan explained. 'So is your sister.'

'Well, I guess that you've planned everything.' Jade sighed bitterly. 'I suppose that we haven't got any choice but to come along.'

'Jenny, we have to help Mr Scott.' Captain Marvel Junior pointed out. 'We're heroes, it's our job to fight the bad guys.'

'Oh, this is going to be so much fun!' Miss Martian clapped her hands excitedly. 'I am going to meet Batman! I cannot wait to meet him!'

'Oh, joy.' Jade rolled her eyes at the thought. 'We've got a team-up.'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: The Titans Go East**

_Titans East, the JSA, Batman, and Wonder Woman Vs Ra's al Ghul and the League of Assassins. 'Nuff said._


	22. The Titans Go East: Part 1

**Uncanny Titans East**

**Chapter 22: The Titans Go East- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_'__If you're not over here in twenty minutes with my door, I shall come over there and insert a large garden gnome in you. Good day.'_**- Basil Fawlty (Fawlty Towers)**

* * *

**Somewhere in the Himalayas-**

Somewhere in the skies above the Himalayas several aircraft made their way over the famous mountain range. The members of Titans East were onboard the T-Jet while Alan Scott and several other heroes were onboard a barrowed Javelin. Batman and Wonder Woman were onboard the Batplane.

'So, does anybody have any idea what Ra's al Ghul is up to?' Donna Troy asked. 'Or is he just planning on dropping a biological weapon on the United States?'

'All the evidence seems to back that up.' Batman responded. 'A short while ago there was a break in at a top secret government laboratory and a new biological weapon that the scientists were working on was stolen.'

'Ra's must have fallen on hard times if he's resorting to petty theft.' Speedy chortled. 'I thought we was so rich that it would make Bill Gates cry in jealousy.'

'Petty theft or not, millions of lives are at risk if we don't stop him.' Alan Scott, Earth's first Green Lantern, stated.

'Ra's isn't the only one we'll have to face.' Batman told the group. 'He will undoubtedly be backed up by his League of Assassins.'

'Oh, big deal.' Aqualad rolled his eyes. 'The old guy protects himself with a bunch of ninjas. Ooh, ninjas. I'm so scared, _I don't think._ They don't have a chance.'

'These ain't no regular dime store ninjas, kid.' Wildcat told the younger hero. 'These guys are the best of the best. They'd lay their lives down to protect Ra's.'

'I hope everybody's brought their winter wear.' Alan Scott told the group. 'Because we're almost at our drop-off point.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if we landed nearer to the guy's hideaway?' CM3 asked as he looked out of the T-Jet and saw nothing but snow. 'It's quite some walk out there.'

'Well, we can land right on top of Ra's's lair if you want to get cut to shreds as soon as you step outside.' Jay Garrick, the original Flash, explained. 'This is the nearest we can land without him discovering us.'

'Then I guess we're climbing from here onwards.' Jade sighed heavily. 'That's just great.'

'Hey, it's alright for you, kid.' Wildcat snorted. 'You can fly. Have a little pity for those of us that have to hoof it, will ya?'

* * *

**A little later-**

The heroes had disembarked from their respective crafts and were slowly making their way towards Ra's al Ghul's secret lair. Unfortunately for those heroes that could fly, they had to make the journey on foot as well. It would have been far too easy for the guards to see heroes flying about.

'Gee, you really bring to such romantic places, honey.' Liberty Belle, a super-strong blonde heroine clad in yellow tights and a blue top with a red bell emblem emblazoned on it, smiled cheekily at Hourman, her husband.

'What do you say we head out to Hawaii once this is all done?' Hourman, a man dressed in a black and yellow hooded costume, smiled back at his wife.

'Mmm, I can't wait.' Liberty Belle grinned widely at the thought.

'Are these two _usually_ like this?' Speedy blinked.

'Oh, yeah.' Wildcat nodded as he carefully inched along a narrow path. 'They get particularly lovey-dovey whenever they're beatin' up bad guys.'

'Aww, I think it is sweet.' Miss Martian smiled. 'Human love is such a beautiful thing. White Martians don't believe in stuff like that.'

'You're a White Martian?' Wildcat spluttered in surprise as he began to lose his footing. 'What the hell?'

'Ted, look out!' Hippolyta called out as she went to grab her friend's hand. Unfortunately, she was too late to catch him.

'Don't worry, Mister Wildcat.' Miss Martian smiled sweetly as she stretched her arm out to grab the falling hero. 'I have you.'

'Uh… thanks, kid.' Wildcat smiled sheepishly. 'Sorry, I kinda freaked out there.'

'Oh, think nothing of it.' Miss Martian responded as she pulled Wildcat back onto the ledge. 'It was understandable that you were surprised to find out my true heritage.'

'No offence, right?' Wildcat asked.

'Of course not.' Miss Martian smiled. 'We are all friends here.'

* * *

**Later still-**

Thankfully, the heroes made it to Ra's al Ghul's mountain hideaway without any more trouble.

'_What do we do now?_' Jericho 'said' in sign language as the heroes hid from the guards guarding the front gate. _'Do we knock?'_

'Joey, do you think you can possess one of those guards?' Speedy inquired as he indicated one of the masked swordsman guarding the entrance to the fortress.

'_No problem.' _The blond hero smiled as he slowly inched towards one of the guards.

'A little electro-shock arrow should take care of the other guards.' Speedy said as he pulled an arrow out of his quiver, nocked it into his bow and let it fly.

'What the…?' The guard blinked as his associate fell to the ground. 'What is going on…?'

The guard looked around to see what was going on. In doing so he looked right into Jericho's gaze. One look was all the blond hero needed as he took control of the remaining guard.

'Joey, are you okay?' Aqualad wondered.

'I'm just fine.' Jericho replied. 'Oh, wow. Is that what I sound like now? Neat. I've never had a Chinese accent before.'

'Do you think you will able to control the guard for long?' Wonder Woman enquired.

'Just as long as the guy doesn't put up too much resistance.' Jericho explained. 'But we'd better get this adventure over soon, the longer I try to control somebody, the weaker I get.'

'Then we'd better make sure that we don't mess around.' Mas smirked as he cracked his knuckles.

'_Si._' Menos nodded in agreement. 'Let's go kick some _culo!_'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: The Titans Go East- Part 2**

_Will Titans East and the other heroes be able to stop Ra's al Ghul from launching his bio-weapon at the United States? Tune in next time to find out…_


End file.
